Change. It has been part of my life since I was young - College Essay

These are my first two paragraphs that im working on. Im concerned that im getting into too much detail and not showing enough emotion.

Also when i mention 'Granolas' in the second paragraph does it seem to have a negative connotation because thats not at all what im intending

Thanks for any and all help.

Change has been part of my life since I was young. At the age of 5 I was forced to adapt to a new environment when me and my family moved from a small town in Quebec to Portsmouth, NH. Two years later, in second grade, I was pulled out of public school in order to homeschool. More recently, I began my sophomore year at Berwick Academy, a local private school. Then only a year later I transferred to Portsmouth High School where I currently attend. Because of all the new situations I have been in I have learned life skills that many others my age lack.

My transfer to homeschooling was as smooth as could be. I was still involved in the public school and saw my friends on a regular basis. The only difference was that I was able to work at an accelerated pace without the restraints of a class. As I got older I started to attend a homeschooling cooperative in Massachusetts where many different homeschool students congregated to take classes ranging from poetry and religion to calculus and computer programming. Not only did the classes have a large variety but the people who attended were very diverse in their philosophies. I met the 'classic' homeschoolers, granolas who felt they should decide if and what they should learn. I also met homeschoolers who were overloaded with all the things that were expected of them. The diversity that I encountered taught me to be accepting of everyone because no matter how you may perceive people to be, everyone deserves a chance.

Also... does it seem really dramatic and if so does anyone know a way to tone that down

Good afternoon.

If you are concerned about too many details, how about combining or condensing some of the background info in the beginning and letting in a little bit more of your feelings in regards to all of this shuffling around? That will shift the emphasis from the physical movements to your emotions regarding the situation. I don't think it's too dramatic; in fact, it is a little the opposite. Adding in some details should help with that though.

As to the "granola" term, I don't think it's very appropriate to use in an entrance essay (if, in fact, that is what this is for). Instead of using a term that, perhaps, not everyone reading the piece will be familiar with, you could include a few adjectives to describe these individuals. That would also give some character to the piece.

Best of luck!

Regards,
Gloria
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