Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 6


Change started to take place in my life when my father had to close his lifelong business.



ericpons 1 / -  
Dec 30, 2014   #1
Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
Being born into an upper middle-class family with two loving parents and a caring older brother, I consider myself a fortunate person. I had the best education that I could get, and all my needs fulfilled. My school, friends, and relatives had me occupied with the affection and amusement any child never forgets.

Change started to take place in my life when my father had to close his lifelong business. My family and I moved from the United States to Mexico, our country of origin, leaving our friends and relatives behind. I adjusted well by quickly learning Spanish and making new friends. I continued to be the same well-loved kid I had always been.

Mexico's violent social crisis began to affect everyone, including myself. The country's extreme situation caught up with me when I was 15. I was kidnaped while driving to school. Consumed by fear and perplexity, all I did and could do was to pray and hope for everything to resolve itself.

My father's astute actions quickly settled the matter, and I was freed. The kidnappers dropped me off in a small village near my city in the middle of the night; I had no means of communication, I was disoriented, and I knew I had a long walk home. A man drove up to me and asked for directions. Having no idea where I was, I explained that I had just been liberated from a kidnap. The sympathized man gave me a ride home where I finally reunited with my family.

The general outcome of the event went well; I was back in one piece. However, insecurity started to overwhelm me. The social person I was before disappeared. Everywhere I went I felt paranoid and anxious. I began being a quiet, timid person, who tried to avoid anything outside my school life. Living in my country was a dangerous thing in my eyes, and I was letting fear apprehend me.

Time went by, and nothing changed. Almost a year passed, and I still could not overcome my worries.
Then something happened. I was out dining with my parents, and as I ate, I noticed a man that was heading out of the restaurant. The man looked at me from a distance and gave me a short smile. He was the same man who had helped me find my way home months ago.

That is when it hit me.
Life-threatening events do not occur to make you live in paranoia and fear; they happen to make you revalue all you have. Life was giving me a second opportunity; I had to do something good with it. It was my chance to learn and achieve something. My insecurity vanished. I finally overcame my fears. I had been down the deep dark abyss of anguish, and now I was back on top of life. Back to being the outgoing, charismatic person I used to be. Only now I was a better version of myself, capable of overcoming challenges; resilient to hardships.

The best way to prove myself better was to get more involved in school. I wanted to be helpful and participative. I entirely prevailed over myself by becoming president of the student council team. Self-confidence and a strong leadership were what I needed to be where I am now.

Today I realize how fortunate I am to have surpassed this. There are those who let themselves get consumed by fear. As president of the student council team, I hope to be an inspiration to some of how to outdo their angst. I am committed to keeping on working on myself since you can always be a better person.

jricha 2 / 11  
Dec 30, 2014   #2
really amazing story. Just a few grammar issues. Being born... the wording in "revalue all you have" sounds awkward. But otherwise really great
Boa503 6 / 16  
Dec 30, 2014   #3
It is a great story. But I think that introduction (born in upper class and receive best education...) is unnecessary.
docnp - / 6  
Dec 30, 2014   #4
I was kidnaped while driving to school

Not sure if I am reading this tight, but you were driving at the age of 15? Did they kidnap you while you were in the car? Were you walking home? What made them able to catch up to you if you were driving?

Clarification would be nice in that area, but it's something I asked myself when wondering.

Great story overall.
maximu5 4 / 11  
Jan 7, 2015   #5
If to be honest the story didnt impress me much at all, and of course its my solely my own opinion , but if the adcom had read this. First they would not understand what you meant by "you realized", because it is largely vague of what you understood from it. Of course thinking that life gave you a second chance is all good and shiny. But i didnt saw a person out of the ending of an essay,i saw a person that's just finished it in a hurry. If its not too late, Please review your ending paragraphs.
nkp28 1 / 20  
Jan 7, 2015   #6
I think you can paint a very vivid picture of the kidnapping, and that may better illustrate the effect the kidnapping had on you, try creating an anecdote and "Show instead of Tell"


Home / Undergraduate / Change started to take place in my life when my father had to close his lifelong business.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳