For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life...
I picked up my pencil and begin to write my FSU admissions essay. After about half an hour my eraser was nearly done and I barely had a paragraph written on my paper. I thought to myself in disappointment "why can I not write this essay"! I've worked so hard for this moment, but this moment seemed to be the most frustrating of them all. I inhaled a deep breath and exhaled it all out. I begin to contemplate about the significance of Vires, Artes, and Morels. I knew those three words were the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University, but my brain just won't let me think of any way those three eccentric words could relate to my personal life. I screamed out loud in an insane manner "UGH! This writer's block could not have come in a more perfect time"...
My frustration in trying to complete this essay began to bug me tremendously. I knew I've completed more tedious and vigorous obstacles before, and I still could not understand why I was making the simplest task into the hardest task of my life. I began to reminisce about how I used to volunteer and a local middle school mentoring and consoling young girls. I remembered waking up at six o'clock in the morning to go to school, volunteering right after school, going to night school, coming home with stacks of homework needed to be completed, then waking up the next day to do it all over again while maintain my GPA. It required tremendous strength to put up with young girls after a long day of school and barely any sleep. I did it anyways because I liked working with them, and I loved the fact that they all looked up to me.
My reminiscent quickly turned into a panic as I looked at my paper and saw barely a paragraph written. Then my silly brother bussed into my room and began to ramble about how stressed he was. Me being the charismatic person I am, put my priorities on hold for half an hour to reassure him that everything was going to be ok. He told me that my vibe brought a sense of calmness and serenity. He said in a very funny country accent "girl you got skills. You know just the right words to make somebody's day ten times greater". I gave him the biggest hug a sister could give then I returned to writing my essay.
I began to think of the reasons as to why I actually wanted to future my education by applying to go to college. I thought about how my father had worked so hard to make a better life for his family, how he had to work two jobs while going to school and still having a family to take care of. My father made sure he instilled the importance of higher education, and I always told myself that I would make my father's hard work a tradition by furthering my education and becoming the second generation college graduate as well as instilling the importance of higher education in my children.
It was then that I realized that Vires, Artes, and Morels reflect me tremendously. Vires meaning strength of all kinds, whether intellectually, morally, or physically is the strength I had to use in order to mentor young girls after a long day of school with barely any sleep. My Artes is the passionate, caring, and lovable ability I have, to liven the spirits of others. My skills are one of a kind, like no other that enables me to help others by empowering them with my words and caring ways. Tradition created for me, by my father that I will pass down to my kin values the Mores I will continue to keep. I will forever now embrace the importance of Vires, Artes, and Morels, and I now fully understand how these three important words guides not only Florida State University, but my life as well.
Hi Melissa, thanks for participating and helping several people, but I I really need you to offer more feedback than this. If you don't really tell the writer anything meaningful, it is better to let the essay stay on the unanswered list until someone else helps.
I'll give several ideas here:
Othello, what I see here is a common process of writhing around prior to getting into the writing. There is a saying among writers: "Write from where you are." That has a mysterious meaning, but I think you can understand. You wrestled with this and wrote about your experience of trying to write, and finally the writing happened.
So... the real essay starts here:
I picked up my pencil and begin to write my FSU admissions essay. I knew I've compl eted more tedious and vigorous obstacles before, and I still could not understand why I was making the simplest task into the hardest task of my life. I began to reminisce about how I used to volunteer and a local middle school mentoring...
I cut out a lot of the writhing around so that you could really get into the essay. :-)
With the last paragraph, I think you should focus only on one of the virtues and that will make the essay more distinct and piercing.... know what I mean? Just choose one.
:-)
