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Chemistry, fascinated by Science and Mathematics - Cornell Supplement Essay



muiz_skywalker 1 / 2  
Oct 20, 2010   #1
This is my first draft. You don't have to scrutinize everything. Please comment whether my response to the prompt is appropriate or not. I don't know what the admission office normally wants from the essay of an engineering major student.

College of Engineering:
Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest.

I am always fascinated by Science and Mathematics ever since I entered primary school. Nevertheless, the subject that captured my attention the most is chemistry. Chemistry is a big part of my life. As an observant person, I see chemistry in everything. As it is the most essential form of science, it is my life-long dream to pursue my tertiary education in chemistry-related fields. I wish to be admitted into College of Engineering in Cornell University and major in Chemical Engineering. I dream of becoming a successful chemical engineer in the future, and finding answers to our imminent problems involving the study of matter and its properties.

As a student, I like to find practical solutions to everyday problems. My acute perception helped me to think outside the box in the process of looking for solutions. In Malaysia, one of the problems that this developing country faces is pollution. As an environmental enthusiast, I view this problem as something chemical engineering can solve. For instance, the technology in bio-fuel production can help to mitigate the adverse impact of relying too much on carbon-emitting fossil fuel as our energy sources. On top of the increasing the volume of greenhouse gases in our atmosphere, depending heavily on fossil fuel harms the ecosystem and the environment. I do not wish to see massive oil spills such as the Deepwater Horizon incident and Exxon Valdez catastrophe happen again. The aftermath of those disasters is more than just economical; marine life and seashores were adversely affected. As a student, I would like to do volumes of researches in alternative energy sources which are economical and environmentally-friendly, and I believed that Cornell University is the best university I can go to fulfill my dream of becoming an engineer that can make the world a better place for tomorrow.

At Cornell University, one of the best engineering schools in the world, I would find myself among the greatest minds of our times, which would boost my interest in engineering to a higher level. In the serene and beautiful campus, my passion for the environment would grow along with the knowledge that I would get from the world-class faculties and top-notch facilities. It is my dream to become an engineer with the opportunity to innovate and propel mankind to a greener and better future. As an institution "where any person can find instruction in any study", Cornell will help me to step further in my march towards success.

Thanks again for you time. I really appreciate them.

jane_the 5 / 29  
Oct 20, 2010   #2
I'm sorry, I don't know much about engineering major either.
But in my opinion, your essay answered the prompt very well. You expressed your concern and what you want to do with it. You want to invent an environmentally friendly alternative energy sources --- that's the idea you want to turn into reality. And you've also expound on how you rely on Cornell to help you achieve your goal. I think you have a great and quite strong essay there =)

wish you best on your application.

anyway, I also have a draft of essay posted just now, it's only a short one, about 300words, titled Tutorial : Good for All. So please check it out if you have time and leave some comments, I'd really appreciate that.
OP muiz_skywalker 1 / 2  
Oct 21, 2010   #3
Thanks Jane. Can you give me a link to your essay so that I can check it out?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Oct 24, 2010   #4
Hi Muiz, you can just click Jane's username in the upper left corner of her post, and it will take you to a list of her threads. Thanks for participating and exchanging help!

I am have been fascinated by Science and Mathematics ever since I entered primary school. ----- I changed it a little, but I want to tell you that this is really not a good sentence to use at the beginning. SO MANY students begin their essay like that... "I have enjoyed art since I was very young..." etc.

I wish to be admitted into College of Engineering in Cornell University and major in Chemical Engineering. ----If you invest words in a sentence like this, add two or three more words to make the sentence more meaningful... for example, add a specific action verb:

I wish to major in chemical engineering and learn about XXXXXX and XXXXXXX, especially from professor YYYY YYYYYYYY at Cornell's College of Engineering. ---- Same amount of words, but much more meaning.

I dream of becoming a successful chemical engineer in the future, and finding answers to our imminent problems involving the study of matter and its properties.--- too general. The way to inspire them is to be specific... intrigue them with your specific intentions.

Before you revise the essay, enhance the specificity of your plan. At any time, any of us can consider our plan for the future and add goals to give it more definition.

:-)


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