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Chemistry teacher, my father, chess game, volunteering:why Brown+interest+ideas.



PsioVana 3 / 11  
Dec 18, 2010   #1
Why Brown
I enjoyed talking with our chemistry teacher about hybrid orbital theory as a LIBERAL ART student for half a day.I followed Minister of Statistic Bureau and kept questioning views in his speech until he drove away.I valued pursuit of interest is more important than results and studied java programming and psychology which are not taught in school.But teachers always criticized my not paying attention to required and major courses.Others always ridiculed my free-thinking as "showing-off".I need a school in which I would not be viewed as heresy and would find a community of free-thinker and pursuer.However,there does exist a school which is said to be the last institution to "leave the 60s,"in which students stocked sleeping pills to be used for suicide in response to President Reagan's "Star War" proposal,in which student studying literature can take the most challenging atomic physics courses.That school is Brown University, the school in which I would thrive and contribute greatly.

Interest:
My father runs a managerial consulting firm and my cousin is enrolled in the Wharton School at UPenn. Since childhood, I have been fascinated by their conversations about management and finance. I started reading serious works such as Securities Analysis and Securities Transactions when I was a teenager. Later, I interned with The Great Wall Securities, a prominent Chinese investment company. Through countless analyses on topics such as purchasing futures and blue-chip stocks, I realized that management and finance were my career goals. However, I also found the great difference between the two subjects. It means that management is not a homogeneous area and a manager must be flexible enough to adapt well-learned principles to new situations. At that time, I discovered Brown's "Commerce, Organizations and Entrepreneurship" course. I believe it will allow me to combine my interest in management with specific new ventures in technology for a successful future career.

Intellectual idea:
"Just like these chess-men, things cannot work together effectively if they are not placed in a harmonious relationship," my father told me after a Weiqi game. "Following the ways of Nature" is the essence of Weiqi, a traditional Chinese chess game.

Our conversation suddenly piqued my interest in the relationship between freedom and restrictions. Given my long-term interest in management, I immediately thought about employees in a company. Would they prefer to be managed strictly and know exactly what should and should not be done, or would they prefer to have freedom and use their own judgment? Also, our school and its various divisions stipulate many regulations for us in the name of "ensuring organizational efficiency." But some of these seem to suppress our instincts, such as the freedom of thinking and questioning.

I decided to do an experiment with the volunteer organization I founded---The Smiling Society. I stipulated the following principles:

1. Members may disregard any limiting regulation and work in any manner they please;
2. If anyone disagrees, refer to stipulation 1.
The results were significant and eye-opening. People seemed happy and enthusiastic. I started getting new perspectives from them instantly. I recall meetings in which members completely disagreed with my plans and proposed their own ideas. They took the initiative to recruit students with artistic talents to design our own advertisement flyers, saving budget and creating a fresh profile for our club. Other clubs often ridiculed ours as "a place of disorder", but I know our members are free-thinking and high-spirited. The inspirations they gave me were endless. For example, as leader, I thought we needed to separate the Society's humanitarian concerns from environmental issues, but one member thought that by combining the two, we could attract more attention and increase funding for all our activities. He immediately started a campaign addressing both concerns by providing environmental education to underprivileged communities. The project was warmly welcome by the society. We got "Beijing Outstanding Student Club" and our Society was invited to participate in China Central TV's environmental forum.

Thus, I found my own answer regarding freedom and restrictions in management. But I also realized that one experiment with a small organization could not speak for all. Nevertheless, I still found this experience inspiring, through which my interest in management was deepened and I also formed a grand plan to apply the college education I am about to receive, i.e. to create an unrestrictive work environment in my company when I found my own business in the future. In fact, I believe that finding a lifelong aim to fight for is more important than being solely obsessed with theory.

nishabala 4 / 91  
Dec 18, 2010   #2
Aaah, a fellow Brown hopeful!

Essay 1
'I need a school in which I would not be viewed as heresy and would find a community of free-thinker and pursuer'... Heresy's a bit strong for what you're describing. Also, using 'I need' makes the tone a little informal and empty, and he sentence construction's a little off. It should be, using the same concept and style:

"I need a school in which I wouldwill not be viewed as heresyheretical, and would find a community of free-thinkers and pursuer s "And I'm not even sure 'pursuer' is a word. Just restrcuture that sentence, and make sure you use the correct forms of words.

And : "However,there does exist a school which is said to be the last institution to "leave the 60s,"(what?) in which students stocked up on sleeping pills to be used for suicide in response tobecause of President Reagan's "Star War" proposal, in which a student studying literature can take the most challenging atomic physics courses." This shows you know a LOT about Brown, but it's too much information in a sentence. I've tried to fix it. But consider cutting something out of it?

Essay 2:
You're first sentence does not convey anything useful in isolation from the second, make them one. But this is good!

Essay 3:
Don't, PLEASE don't use points?
I like this too. You seem to be really focussed and gifted. Good luck!
OP PsioVana 3 / 11  
Dec 18, 2010   #3
Thanks nishabala. I think I gonna have to revise my "Why Brown " essay...
nishabala 4 / 91  
Dec 19, 2010   #4
You're welcome!
Could you take a look at my William and Mary essay?
OP PsioVana 3 / 11  
Dec 19, 2010   #5
yes! And other advice?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 27, 2010   #6
My father runs a managerial consulting firm, and my cousin is enrolled in the Wharton School at UPenn.

I like the rhythm here: The results were significant and eye-opening. People seemed happy and enthusiastic. I started getting new perspectives from them instantly, and I recall meetings in which----I made a small change strictly for the purpose of enhancing rhythem. I like what you started, and I think you should only accept my idea if it seems right to you.

---finding a lifelong aim to fight for is more important than being solely obsessed with theory.------I agree!! This essay is great, and I hope the AO reader recognizes that.


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