I would be thankful if you can take a look at my essay.
PROMPT : It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.
Please let me know...
-Is it correct grammer ?
-Is it enough supporting sentences ?
-What else should I do to develop my ideas ?
It is commonly believed and accepted that environment plays an essential, indispensable role for everyone in society. Needless to say, every selection has its advantages or disadvantages, and it can be argued that countryside is better than big cities for children to be grown up; if given an opportunity to choose one, I would rather grow up my children in a big city than in countryside, which means that I disagree the presented view, and the reasons are expounded as follows.
First of all, big cities are more convenient than countryside. You can observe that there are a myriad of convenient stores in a thriving city; by contrast, people live in countryside have to spend more than half an hour on buying your daily necessaries or printing your deadline approaching reports. And with the assistance of the urban infrastructure, students can go to their schools conveniently by MRT or Trolleys instead of trudging by their legs. In other words, imaging children in the junior high schools do not punctual, and parents are also late for work. Apparently, they yearn for the help of the infrastructure.What's more, some urban residents are indifferent towards others' things; on the other hand, boors are comparatively considerate. And the rhythm of big cities is tenser than countryside obviously. By integrating the above-mentioned, it is a chance for our children to experience the ebb and flow of their life before stepping into society; in other words, urban children will be sophisticated rather than be gauche, dexterous at social intercourse.
As we discussed, big cities monopolize everything vital to every individual's life. In a word, I believe that children who are grown up in big cities will have more opportunities to have a marvelous and fantastic life.
PROMPT : It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.
Please let me know...
-Is it correct grammer ?
-Is it enough supporting sentences ?
-What else should I do to develop my ideas ?
It is commonly believed and accepted that environment plays an essential, indispensable role for everyone in society. Needless to say, every selection has its advantages or disadvantages, and it can be argued that countryside is better than big cities for children to be grown up; if given an opportunity to choose one, I would rather grow up my children in a big city than in countryside, which means that I disagree the presented view, and the reasons are expounded as follows.
First of all, big cities are more convenient than countryside. You can observe that there are a myriad of convenient stores in a thriving city; by contrast, people live in countryside have to spend more than half an hour on buying your daily necessaries or printing your deadline approaching reports. And with the assistance of the urban infrastructure, students can go to their schools conveniently by MRT or Trolleys instead of trudging by their legs. In other words, imaging children in the junior high schools do not punctual, and parents are also late for work. Apparently, they yearn for the help of the infrastructure.What's more, some urban residents are indifferent towards others' things; on the other hand, boors are comparatively considerate. And the rhythm of big cities is tenser than countryside obviously. By integrating the above-mentioned, it is a chance for our children to experience the ebb and flow of their life before stepping into society; in other words, urban children will be sophisticated rather than be gauche, dexterous at social intercourse.
As we discussed, big cities monopolize everything vital to every individual's life. In a word, I believe that children who are grown up in big cities will have more opportunities to have a marvelous and fantastic life.
