China on the streen - Looking out the window. What do you see?.....Williams essay

Imagine looking through a window at any environment that is particularly significant to you. Reflect on the scene, paying close attention to the relation between what you are seeing and why it is meaningful to you. Please limit your statement to 300 words

It is frosty winter. I draw the curtains in the morning, and this is always a painful procedure. When I open the curtains, the light will shine and brighten my room, but at the same time I must see the pale children outside begging in the cold, a sight that will darken my heart. As I open the curtains I see women on poorly built Chinese tricycles, going back and forth collecting recyclable boxes and bottles. They earn about two to three dollars by working all day. They are blowing on their hands consistently, helplessly trying to resist the cold. Sitting in my warm room, I ponder about the injustice of the world.

Here in Kunming, China, the poor begging on the street is not an uncommon sight. And I have been questioning what I must do for these people outside. As the years passed and I grew more mature in my thinking, my determination to work for the poor around the world has also grown firm.

I will not pretend that I don't see the deep grief of the poverty-stricken people. I will use my education for the indigent.

Thanks for your feedback

I am very impressed with your choice of topic. I think you were able to connect what you say, to yourself very well. Nothing I can really say to help you improve. Except for at the beginning "It is a frosty winter" instead of "It is frosty winter". That sounds better to me, but I could be wrong. Anyways, your writing is very deep and well done.

Sounds.. a bit odd i would say
When I draw the curtains in the morning during the frosty winters.


It is just like another essay I just comment on couple minutes back, you have build some strong tone, use it to your own advantage, ending it with just "I will use my education for the indigent"(By the way indigents) doesn't sounds so strong anymore.

and by the way, a little bit of personal question: are you Chinese???... you name doesn't sounds like any Chinese names that I am familiar with... and good luck(forgot add that :P)...

This is so powerful! I am glad we still have people like you. This is a great description, and it is a great idea. I just think you should add more substance. Tell us about a possible plan for helping them...

Wow, it is definitely eye opening. It's quick and to the point, yet still powerful. I like the repetition of you opening the curtains, it delivers a strong message. Also the last sentence is great, good use of vocabulary.

Good luck with everything!

I agree with Notylerhere, opening the curtains adds more emphasis on what your actually viewing and how it affects you. Nicely written