Hello, im ESL student and there are some mistakes, nd can you give me some feedback for this?? Thank you very much~
The Chinese Ninespine stickeleback Fish
When I was in fifth grade, I'd read a book named "Chinese Ninespine stickeleback Fish". It is about Chinese ninespine stickeleback fish's life; After beget eggs, the mother Chinese ninespine stickeleback fish leaving her husband and eggs and start a new life. On the other hand, the father fish protect the eggs from the other fishes not sleeping and eating at all. After the baby fishes hatching from the eggs, they also leave their place. And lonely father fish put his head into crack of the reef. It was the saddest story I've ever read in that time.
My father, who was my number one best friend and always be with me when I was unhappy, so I couldn't be injured unless my father wasn't with me. Few years later, my aunt came to Korea who came from Los Angeles. She wanted me to go to America and getting better education. I knew that if whole family going could be really difficult in language, jobs, and culture problems. It was almost confirmed going America by myself, my dad stated to go together. And it became true. My dad abandoned his career, mother, friends, and his homeland.
First few days, I was so excited to traveling around America. However, the happiness was not that long. Homesick, language problems, racial discrimination, and culture problems led me to being solicitous. I needed my father to cure my scar. But my father wasn't beside me. After time goes on, I met some friends who are like me, and we were loaf around in groups. Naturally, my relationship between my father and me became more distant. Even later, there were more conflicts in our relationship. However, my friends and my relationship also became drift apart. But this time, no one was there. I asked myself "Where am I here for?" The only my blurry vision was forgotten as my old remembrance. All my energy resources were flew away but only "hope" beside at me. Moving to different school brought me to another hard time. I didn't know this could affect to my family. On that night, I saw my father was at outside and shocked. My father, who is the strongest man I ever know, was crying. His tears washed off all dirt from my heart.
I feel so happy that I have a father who sacrificing himself for me like the Chinese Ninespine stickeleback fish. He cannot beside to me always like ten years ago, but his sacrifice will remembered forever and ever.
The Chinese Ninespine stickeleback Fish
When I was in fifth grade, I'd read a book named "Chinese Ninespine stickeleback Fish". It is about Chinese ninespine stickeleback fish's life; After beget eggs, the mother Chinese ninespine stickeleback fish leaving her husband and eggs and start a new life. On the other hand, the father fish protect the eggs from the other fishes not sleeping and eating at all. After the baby fishes hatching from the eggs, they also leave their place. And lonely father fish put his head into crack of the reef. It was the saddest story I've ever read in that time.
My father, who was my number one best friend and always be with me when I was unhappy, so I couldn't be injured unless my father wasn't with me. Few years later, my aunt came to Korea who came from Los Angeles. She wanted me to go to America and getting better education. I knew that if whole family going could be really difficult in language, jobs, and culture problems. It was almost confirmed going America by myself, my dad stated to go together. And it became true. My dad abandoned his career, mother, friends, and his homeland.
First few days, I was so excited to traveling around America. However, the happiness was not that long. Homesick, language problems, racial discrimination, and culture problems led me to being solicitous. I needed my father to cure my scar. But my father wasn't beside me. After time goes on, I met some friends who are like me, and we were loaf around in groups. Naturally, my relationship between my father and me became more distant. Even later, there were more conflicts in our relationship. However, my friends and my relationship also became drift apart. But this time, no one was there. I asked myself "Where am I here for?" The only my blurry vision was forgotten as my old remembrance. All my energy resources were flew away but only "hope" beside at me. Moving to different school brought me to another hard time. I didn't know this could affect to my family. On that night, I saw my father was at outside and shocked. My father, who is the strongest man I ever know, was crying. His tears washed off all dirt from my heart.
I feel so happy that I have a father who sacrificing himself for me like the Chinese Ninespine stickeleback fish. He cannot beside to me always like ten years ago, but his sacrifice will remembered forever and ever.