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"Choosing classes, the request", two different essays, not sure which one to use



Hellobeautiful 2 / 4  
Nov 26, 2009   #1
Im not really done, but i just want to know which one people think would be the better topic. Any help is appreciated though. Thanks!

Choosing classes for the following year was always something I looked forward to. However this year was different, to me it was more of a sobering experience rather than something pleasuring. I realized that this was my last year in high school and that soon, dreaded college applications would be coming around the corner. With this in mind, I was faced with two options. To take easy classes which I knew I could manage to pass or to take challenging classes which I would probably struggle in. Well, after some heavy consideration, I decided to take the challenging classes; pre-calculus/trigonometry and honors physics.

I knew that my senior year was not going to be an easy one. Everyone told me how difficult these classes were, and yet I decided to remain in the classes. I thought about the challenging courses I took in my previous year and how I always managed to get by. However with one quarter into the year, I'm starting to doubt my decisions. I feel a lot more confident in pre-calculus than I do in honors physics, in which I feel completely lost. Throughout my school life, I would say that this is the most challenging course I have ever taken.

Nonetheless, I have decided to stay in the class. Because I am still taking the course, I am unsure whether I will pass or not. I am proud to say that despite what my peers said, I did what I wanted and followed my instincts. I am also proud that I am not dropping the class. I know that I am capable of doing whatever I set my mind to.

orr

The requests kept growing; from 3 to 6, 6 to 12, 12 to 21. My two friends and I had three days to make 21 capes for our friends. When I saw the number, I knew we were in over our heads. It took us almost two hours just to finish one cape. I had no idea how we could possibly make 21 in three days. Miraculously, we did it. Everyday after our homecoming activities, we would get straight to work and attempt to finish the task that seemed impossible

We assigned each other tasks so that there wasn't a moment in which one of us had free hands. We needed to cut, lock the ends, sew, iron-on names, and make stencils for all 21 capes. Over the course of two days, we created an efficient system on how to produce each cape. Even though we created this system, there was still a little less than half the capes to make in only one day. With limited supplies, such as glue guns and sewing machines, only two of us were able to take the capes home. I remember staying up until two a.m. on the third night finishing my last cape.

Thinking back to this week, I am proud that I didn't just give up when I saw the amount of capes we had to make. I am even more proud at the fact that we actually finished in three days. I realized that there are many other occurrences in which I don't give up.

Once again thanks.

FireTiger 8 / 47  
Nov 26, 2009   #2
i don't understand the significance of the capes. maybe explain it more? And say how it developed YOU, this is your chance to express YOURSELF and your character, rather than just something you did
meisj0n 8 / 214  
Nov 26, 2009   #3
different; to me...experience rather than a pleasing one
soon, dreaded college apps... [LOL . Haven't seen that in a while, but I agree.]

[physics! best class I had...although I got poor scores on the recent SAT2. haha. I don't think you have a solid start with the first essay. the idea is somewhat there but I don't see a stable answer to the prompt...yet.]

With the cape one, there's more opening for symbolism about what this could mean to you...that you could mention as afterthoughts of your efforts.

Good luck! Thanks for reading mine. 4 more days!
polytag - / 10  
Nov 26, 2009   #4
Please please don't talk about the courses that you took. There's no big deal in pre-cal/honors physics. Admission officers can see your academic rigour from your transcript. Use this chance to tell them about your character. You may defend by saying that this shows your determination. But there are definitely better things to talk about. To be frank, your essay bores me.

For the second essay, I can just substitute the word "cape" with any other words like "cake", "cookie", make some amendments to the procedure of the "manufacturing" and it becomes a universal template. The weakness for this essay is that there is hardly any personal voice. A three-day rushing experience is not really a big deal unless you elaborated on what you have learned. At least you keep me wondering on what "cape" means to you. Work from here and you can get better draft.


Home / Undergraduate / "Choosing classes, the request", two different essays, not sure which one to use
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