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'Christianity and alcohol' - Brave New World - Columbia Supplement



mzontario 9 / 43  
Dec 10, 2012   #1
I really need to cut this down a bit.

Thank you so much ahead of time! ANY criticism is welcome. :)

Brave New World, a classic novel by Aldous Huxley, is one that made me think and question. It was not the provocative themes of promiscuity, anti - monogamy, and drug indulgence that intrigued me, but rather the new world that the novel took place in. I was initially entertained by the thought of an utopian society - one in which moral repercussions are non - existent and happiness can be achieved through a simple soma dosage, a drug described as 'all the advantages of Christianity and alcohol; none of their defects.' However, once I reflected on the novel, my perspective on how I regarded society changed. Brave New World raises the question - what is the price of happiness? Although it seems promising to live in a society in which you are conditioned to excel at your job and love your life, in actuality, it is in direct opposition to the values we cherish today - freedom of expression, the pursuit of knowledge, and independent rational ideas. Although written in 1931, Brave New World depicted a likely future in which we are sedated by the government and media, taking us further and further away from being independent and innovative free - thinkers of society. Now, even in what we call the 'information age,' there are governments and states who try to censor information that should be free to us - whether it be through Bills like SOPA or repressive governments like those we see in North Korea. From Brave New World, I learned that we should never take things that are spoon fed to us at face value and rather think critically, ______, and _________.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 11, 2012   #2
Some suggestions;

but rather the new world that the novel took place in. I

... You can leave "rather'' out without hurting the line : )

I was initially entertained by the thought of an utopian society - one in which moral repercussions are nonexistent and happiness can be achieved through a simple soma dosage, a drug described as 'all the advantages of Christianity and alcohol; none of their defects.' However, once I reflected on the novel, my perspective on how I regarded society changed.

... nonexistent is one word (help you with the word count) .... I feel you need to re-look at this line.... It is too long and the reader needs to memorize so many things. I'm sure he doesn't like it ; )

However, once I reflected on the novel, my perspective on how I regarded society changed.

However, this novel influenced me to perceive the society differently.
nairbear68 6 / 29  
Dec 15, 2012   #3
Try including the full prompt so advice can be more specific.
Your essay, judging from your thread title, is about what intrigues you?
It's well written, but you should talk more about yourself and less about the novel. I feel like I just read an analysis on Brave New World instead of learning about what intrigues you. Cut down on your novel stuff and put more you in :)

Check out my what matters to me essay if you have time please!


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