Church Street Marketplace - Barnard and Tufts Supplement, Similar Questions?

So I have written the following for prompt on the Tufts supplement which says:
Let your life speak. Describe the environment in which you were raised-your family, home, neighborhood or community-and how it influenced the person you are today. (Required length 200-250 words)

The final supplement question for Barnard reads:
Community - educational, geographic, religious, political, ethnic, or other - can define an individual's experience and influence her journey. How has your community, as you identify it, shaped your perspective? (250 word limit)

This is my Tufts response, can I use it in the Barnard prompt successfully or not?
I believe that I am one of many seniors at Burlington High School who is slightly (completely, in my case) dreading saying goodbye to Burlington, Vermont come next August. When I tell people I'm from Vermont, the most common response usually includes some comical question about how the cows are doing, or how often I'm out "huntin" as they make fun of my Vermonter accent that dulls the sound of hard constants found in the middle of my words. But these people don't know Burlington.

Burlingtonians are vastly different from hunters and cow tippers. We are hippies, hipsters, liberals, conservatives, tree-huggers and lake lovers. Creativity, spunk and fierce pride in our city bursts from every available orifice. Burlington is more than my habitat, it is a part of me. I am the artists that paint Lake Champlain at sunset, I am the children skipping down the Church Street Marketplace and I am the budding musicians playing in coffee shops. Burlington has made me thoughtful and grateful for every ounce of my life. The diverse and accepting atmosphere of my town has taught my mouth to speak my mind, and to express my whirling mass of thoughts by painting my ideas and singing my opinions. My heart has been taught compassion and understanding for the collage of people that I encounter every day, and Burlington has fostered my mind to practice optimism and acceptance. Above all, Burlington has taught me to be who I am, no matter where I am.

Yes, it is a very good response and it seems like it would fit the two prompts perfectly.


"Come" needs to be deleted, I think. Good luck, and please, can you look at my essays?

I like your essay too. "...no matter where I am." Touching.

I suggest that you check again to make sure you're using contractions (e.g., I am, I'm) consistently throughout your essay.