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"The church worship leader" - Elaborate one of your activities (150 words)

RyanVi16 12 / 91  
Nov 25, 2010   #1
Sorry, for constantly posting new essays. But this is a short one.
Briefly elaborate one of the extracurricular activity (150 words). Please check for grammar, thank you. Word count: 150

My fingers stroke against the guitar strings and let the note rang.

"Are you done now?" Jason chuckled when I finally finish tuning all the instruments in the room.

"Yea," I sighed, "New rule. From now on, player tune their own instrument."

I ran over to the other side of the building and made copies of the songs that we are planning to lead the church on Sunday. If the time that I wasted to prepare for the practice was not long enough, I have to constantly yell for the attention of the band members. They could never focus in the songs that we suppose to practice but rather enjoy playing Lady Gaga songs.

Being the church worship leader is challenging since I am younger than most of the other members. However, I felt the joy after we successfully practice all the songs and prepared for Sunday.

floralcurfuffal 2 / 9  
Nov 25, 2010   #2
great idea! but it doesn't flow the way i'm assuming you'd like it to!
"stroke against" is a little awkward .. because technically you can't stroke against something :)
Maybe add something to make the transition between the "I ran over to the other side.." paragraph and "Being the church worship leader" paragraph a little smoother. Or maybe explain a little more why being a church worship leader is challenging ..

150 words thats it!!! thats annoying ...
clumsyalex 2 / 4  
Nov 25, 2010   #3
Rather than "stroke against" as mentioned above, you should use the word "strummed," as that is what it actually is-guitar strumming.
OP RyanVi16 12 / 91  
Nov 26, 2010   #4
Thank you for all of your comments and feedback. I felt all the love on this forum ^_^
I applied to some instate school (VA): University of Virginia, Virginia Tech, James Madison, and Virginia Commonwealth. I would really love to go to UVA, but my grade is not enough, so hopefully my essays can break it. That's why all my essay are kinda weird. It's risky but it doesn't matter since the school is a reach anyways so if it doesn't help then that's fine. Who knows, i might get lucky.

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