Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 2


"Claire de Lune"; University of Illinois Personal Statement



harperk0328 1 / -  
Oct 14, 2012   #1
Prompt:
In an essay of 300 words or less, tell us something about yourself that isn't covered elsewhere in this application, some interest or experience of yours that you think the University of Illinois should know about as part of the admissions review.

I can feel the warmth descending from the spotlight above. There's no turning back now. I know I have to play. I take a deep breath, set my nerves aside, sit up tall, put my foot on the pedal, and press my fingers to the white, shiny, glass-like keys. As the bright noise emerges from the inner workings of the piano, I slowly start to gain confidence in what I'm playing, yet I'm still aware that if I make the slightest mistake, it will be obvious to anyone listening. My first piano recital most likely has not remained in the audience's memory, but it has remained in mine.

My first time playing in front of an audience was a proud moment for me because I got to share what I had been working on with others that would appreciate it. The simple applause at the end of the piece showed that the work had paid off. I have learned that with great practice and work, great achievements will eventually come.

To say things have changed since my first recital would be an understatement. I stopped taking lessons from my original teacher and started taking lessons from a strict, Ukrainian woman capable of causing me to burst into tears at any given second. Instead of striving to perfect simple songs like "Yankee Doodle," I instead found myself doubtful for not being able to learn "Claire de Lune" within a few weeks. So I practiced.

When I finally conquered "Claire de Lune" for my most recent recital, it brought an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. Although I occasionally get frustrated with myself, I am determined to push through the challenges that piano may bring me, similar to how I will react to obstacles throughout my college experience.

hpdwnsn95 3 / 4  
Oct 14, 2012   #2
harperk0328
I like the theme of your essay, and I get the idea that you're trying to convey but it doesn't flow right. Maybe say something about how the sense of accomplishment from your first recital kept growing even though you faced many challenges including your Ukrainian teacher. If you need more words to convey that, take out the part about taking lessons from your original teacher, it doesn't add anything to your essay. I hope this helps!! Good luck with your application!


Home / Undergraduate / "Claire de Lune"; University of Illinois Personal Statement
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳