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Claremont College Essay (Leadership, ANALYTICAL ESSAY)



sukjeffrey 4 / 18  
Dec 23, 2008   #1
ANALYTICAL ESSAY

I asked a seven-year-old girl, who does not have any religious affinity, to name the most prominent men and women in history. She said Hannah Montana, Barack Obama, and Jesus Christ. Today, it is hard to find an individual who does not know the name of Jesus. He is the central figure in the world's largest religion that has been the impetus for an incalculable number of events throughout the past two thousand years. However, when people hear the name "Jesus," many of them immediately disregard everything that follows as religious fanaticism. Although Jesus is closely tied to Christianity, he was also a great leader who helped shape culture and thought.

Niccolo Machiavelli wrote in his most well-known work, The Prince, that "it is better to be feared than loved." Many of the great leaders recognized today led by fear: Adolf Hitler, Napoleon Bonaparte, Joseph Stalin, Mao Zedong, Alexander the Great, etc. However, Jesus sought to create a new model for leadership. He tried to lead the world with love and embraced people instead of instilling fear and intimidating others to follow him. In this way, people were attracted to him and followed him.

Then, Jesus led people to be more compassionate. Many know of the "an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth" concept-it is an idea that is believed to be fair in our culture, and ever since the Code of Hammurabi had been created, people have been putting it to practice. However, nothing productive comes forth from that "fairness." As Mahatma Gandhi said, "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." Therefore, Jesus, in his famous sermon on Mount Sinai, led others to "turn the other cheek"-to love your enemies and their wrongdoings, and do to them as you would have them do to you. This is the Golden Rule that Jesus preached, and there is no doubt that people who have truly followed Jesus' teachings and have become compassionate have made the world a better place.

To shape culture and thought and create a fellowship of millions requires something extraordinary. Jesus was extraordinary. He was a great leader who led by example; he said to his followers "let's go" instead of just "go." As a leader in the making, I seek to emulate the leadership Jesus has shown. Instead of ordering others on what to do, I want to be an example that may influence others to follow me.

EF_Sean 6 / 3460  
Dec 23, 2008   #2
Fairly good overall. A couple of revised sentences for you:

"Many are familiar with the concept of justice that is rooted in the old axiom 'an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' This notion has been the foundation for justice throughout most of our history; ever since the Code of Hammurabi was created, people have been putting it to practice."

"As a leader in the making, I seek to emulate the leadership Jesus has shown. Instead of ordering others, I want to be an example that influences others to follow me freely."


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