Hello buddies.
I'm a Chinese student and new to here. This is my first draft of CMU's supplement. Please give any suggestions or critiques on grammar, writing genre or problems with content. Be harsh, if it please you.
Subject: Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program you are applying to. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.
CMU has always been the paradise in my heart. Her spirit appeals to me, since there's something similar to my own experience.
I made the vow to pledge my life and honor to computer science when I was 13. Unfortunately, my junior school specialized in exam-oriented education: each day from 7.am to 10.pm, classes and homework comprised every inch of time, with a large amount of nerve-racking knowledge to memorize, even the weekend. I was forced to realize on principle: if your grade is poor you will be looked down upon, so I managed to study harder to come top in the rank list.
The direct consequence of such circumstance was no time for programming, except noon breaks and weekends. However, my dream rooted so strongly that I took it as my first love. I enjoyed the precious time with reticent computer, and earned the privilege to spend two extra evenings in lab. But scattered pieces of time could hardly satisfy my ever-growing appetite for learning programming.
I did my best to make perfect on both study and programming, so when I was 14, my parents were astonished to find a patch of my hair went bald. At that time, I was deeply influenced by speeches and the Indian film 3 Idiots. These stories made me know how to follow my heart, and not be affected by others' shadows.
I changed to another high school to spend more time in lab, perfecting my programming skills as much as possible. But there's still an invisible wall of exam-oriented education beside me. So when I heard that CMU allows students to choose their own faculties, an inward resonance came out: this is the ideal place I seek for.
On the other hand, since I spent more time in my world, I made some progress. I entered 2012 VK Cup Programming Championship Final, won 3 gold national medals in Informatics, and performed well in ACM-ICPC. Meanwhile, I was given the offer of country's best universities. These recognitions differentiated me from peers: I've come a long way of self-researching, without teachers and fixed routes, but books, Internet, and fellows with common ambition. My ability of self-study has been proved to be powerful, as well as stubbornness, self-discipline. I believe I've been equipped with sufficient qualities to be ready for higher education.
Far different from being monotonous, immerging in the world of binary created colorful experiences. Last summer I used Python to design a website named SimpleOJ for school - an Online Judge for programming lovers. The school showed great concerns and bestowed us a new server. Now I have a working team of 5 students. We are refining the code in order to release it as soon as possible. Writing the project let me have a glimpse of the value of programming towards society. Thanks to the various contests, I also got to know the best programmers of the world, went to different districts and countries. Looking back, I'm surprised to find I have traveled by plane for 16 times.
I still remember the uplift and inspiration when I first watched Dr. Randy Pausch's Last Lecture. Among all the wisecracks, I especially loved the following quote: Remember brick walls let us show our dedication. They are there to separate us from the people who don't really want to achieve their childhood dreams. Although Pausch passed away, there are other professors in CMU with the same dedication in the classroom and passion for teaching. Under their instructions, whatever the challenge is, learning must be a process full of interest and easiness.
I'm a Chinese student and new to here. This is my first draft of CMU's supplement. Please give any suggestions or critiques on grammar, writing genre or problems with content. Be harsh, if it please you.
Subject: Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program you are applying to. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.
CMU has always been the paradise in my heart. Her spirit appeals to me, since there's something similar to my own experience.
I made the vow to pledge my life and honor to computer science when I was 13. Unfortunately, my junior school specialized in exam-oriented education: each day from 7.am to 10.pm, classes and homework comprised every inch of time, with a large amount of nerve-racking knowledge to memorize, even the weekend. I was forced to realize on principle: if your grade is poor you will be looked down upon, so I managed to study harder to come top in the rank list.
The direct consequence of such circumstance was no time for programming, except noon breaks and weekends. However, my dream rooted so strongly that I took it as my first love. I enjoyed the precious time with reticent computer, and earned the privilege to spend two extra evenings in lab. But scattered pieces of time could hardly satisfy my ever-growing appetite for learning programming.
I did my best to make perfect on both study and programming, so when I was 14, my parents were astonished to find a patch of my hair went bald. At that time, I was deeply influenced by speeches and the Indian film 3 Idiots. These stories made me know how to follow my heart, and not be affected by others' shadows.
I changed to another high school to spend more time in lab, perfecting my programming skills as much as possible. But there's still an invisible wall of exam-oriented education beside me. So when I heard that CMU allows students to choose their own faculties, an inward resonance came out: this is the ideal place I seek for.
On the other hand, since I spent more time in my world, I made some progress. I entered 2012 VK Cup Programming Championship Final, won 3 gold national medals in Informatics, and performed well in ACM-ICPC. Meanwhile, I was given the offer of country's best universities. These recognitions differentiated me from peers: I've come a long way of self-researching, without teachers and fixed routes, but books, Internet, and fellows with common ambition. My ability of self-study has been proved to be powerful, as well as stubbornness, self-discipline. I believe I've been equipped with sufficient qualities to be ready for higher education.
Far different from being monotonous, immerging in the world of binary created colorful experiences. Last summer I used Python to design a website named SimpleOJ for school - an Online Judge for programming lovers. The school showed great concerns and bestowed us a new server. Now I have a working team of 5 students. We are refining the code in order to release it as soon as possible. Writing the project let me have a glimpse of the value of programming towards society. Thanks to the various contests, I also got to know the best programmers of the world, went to different districts and countries. Looking back, I'm surprised to find I have traveled by plane for 16 times.
I still remember the uplift and inspiration when I first watched Dr. Randy Pausch's Last Lecture. Among all the wisecracks, I especially loved the following quote: Remember brick walls let us show our dedication. They are there to separate us from the people who don't really want to achieve their childhood dreams. Although Pausch passed away, there are other professors in CMU with the same dedication in the classroom and passion for teaching. Under their instructions, whatever the challenge is, learning must be a process full of interest and easiness.