Colgate Supp Essay - Diversity in our community

Diverse communities can play a big role in a person's life. They can be found all over the world. The Caribbean itself is one with various races and religions coming from it. The island of Jamaica is a diverse community as well. With virtually all the major races and religions living there, it is hard to find an area or community with just only one, as a matter of fact, it is almost impossible.

I am from a Black and an Indian descent so I have multiple traditions. Although I do not participate in the Indian celebrations, I still respect my heritage. In my school there are people of various racial and cultural background, whether they are students or teachers, why, my previous Chemistry teacher was Hindu and told us that she doesn't eat beef and follows her Hindu traditions. My family is a devout Christian family so I am a Christian, more specifically, a Baptist myself and so I do celebrate many Christian traditions, for example, Easter, Lent and Christmas.

People always say that it is good to learn from the mistakes of others and I agree wholeheartedly but I also believe that we can benefit from the achievements of others, more so than the mistakes. When you are part of a minority the achievements made are much more important than the mistakes and this has made me realize that anything is possible and that everyone in the world has an equal place and should be treated as such.

I like this.
but you can also include how diversity can affect your future and what did you offer to a diverse community.

Thanks....I appreciate the comment and I'm gonna try and fix this up soon

This first paragraph tells me several different ideas without really focusing on a single theme. At the end you have a run on sentence:
With virtually all the major races and religions living there, it is hard to find an area or community with just only one, as a matter of fact, it is almost impossible.

Put a period or semi-colon after "only one"

What are you saying with that sentence -- that multiple ethnicities are represented everywhere?


And you say anything is possible and that achievements are more important than mistakes... so, you epress many ideas. here is the formula:

one essay = one big idea.

Write an essay that begins and ends with a discussion of cultural integration as a means of capitalizing on diverse achievements. Let this be your theme throughout the paper. Express that idea in at least three different ways in your essay -- maybe at the beginning, middle, and end.

:-)