College admission- short answer, career goals and community service

What are your career goals and how did you develop them? 50 WORD LIMIT

My experiences have taught me to capitalize on my capabilities and explore engineering. I aspire to pursue a career in science and engineering to satiate my curiosity for the natural world and to discover all the possibilities that come with a math and science oriented career.

Describe which single activity/interest listed above represents your most meaningful commitment and why? 50 WORD LIMIT

My commitment to the community originates from my desire to sustain my heritage language and culture. Since 2006, I have devoted over 900 hours of community service to educating young students about the Vietnamese language. My dedication to volunteerism strengthens the community through cultural literacy and diversity.

The word limit presents a problem. I can't go much into detail but I'd appreciate any criticism. Feel free to be brutally honest.

This doesn't really answer the prompt.


Your second one is better.

tkkt1:Describe which single activity/interest listed above
Your community service doesn't really relate to your passion for engineering.

The question is refering to any of the activities that he has listed on his application.

My internship experiences at Cisco Systems and Lockheed Martin instigated my desire to capitalize on my natural aptitude for math and science by exploring engineering. I aspire to pursue a career in engineering to satiate my curiosity for the natural world and to discover all the possibilities that come with it.

I'm over one word, would anyone like to cut one word for me?

Thanks for the feedback!

"my curiosity for the natural world" -> "my curiosity in nature"

Wow, you manage to write a decent answer within the 50-words limit. That's something you should be proud of. And the 900 CIP hours, too. 225 hours per years is an awesome figure. How did you manage to get that?

My internship experiences at Cisco Systems and Lockheed Martin instigated my desire to capitalize on my natural aptitude for math and science by exploring engineering. I aspire to pursue a career in engineering to satiate my curiosity for the natural world and to discover all the possibilities that come with it contains .

Good work.