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College of Arts and Sciences- Cornell Essay (need advice on shortening)



chickpig 9 / 26  
Dec 20, 2008   #1
Please assist me by helping to look through this essay. I'm not sure where I should cut down on words. Your comments will be much appreciated! Thanks in advance.

Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

Ever since my secondary school days, I have been more interested in the humanities than the sciences. I find that in the field of humanities, I am better able to connect with what I am studying because the social sciences appeal to my senses and emotions. Social sciences are able to ignite a sense of familiarity, something that the technicalities of the sciences do not do so for me. I prefer to understand the world around me in a broader sense and prefer to look at things from various perspectives. The arts and social sciences allow me to view issues from diverse perspectives with no right or wrong, thus I am able to formulate my own judgement. My favourite subject in secondary school was geography, especially human geography. Human geography appealed to me because it appeared intuitive and logical. Additionally, Human geography can be observed in the form of daily phenomena and can be experienced easily.

In my junior college (JC) days, my interest in human geography sustained. However, it was in JC that I discovered a new interest, that of economics. I am particularly interested in economics because to me life revolves around economics. Everyday, we see economics and make use of economics, whether in making choices bearing in mind opportunity costs or in the purchase of goods and services involving demand and supply. Economics is a beautiful subject which forms the foundation of how we work, live and play.

Now, I see economics as a subject of influence. Economics is powerful, good economics can shape nations from poverty to prosperity while poor economics can cause huge financial turmoil, similar to that of the 2008 financial crisis. I am most interested in finding sustainable solutions to mitigate the widening income disparity with nations and amongst nations in the world. It is my hope that given the opportunity, I would do my utmost to master economics and apply what I have learnt by pushing for sound policies for my nation and beyond, creating positive socio-economic change which could benefit millions.

As I venture further in my learning journey of economics, I am certain that my love for the subject could only possibly grow. With passion for the subject, I intend to major in economics in university.

I am interested in taking up a double major in economics and urban and regional studies if possible. The Cornell double major programme would allow me to satisfy my intellectual curiosity in both areas of interest. In fact, I am eager to study in Cornell because of the interdisciplinary model that Cornell adopts. I believe that in an all-rounded education that should encompass multiple disciplines because our world is interconnected, especially in the 21st century. It is unrealistic for one to survive in this globalised world with a view that each subject should be separately studied. Links between each discipline should be explicitly discussed so that an integrated perspective can be nurtured.

Next, the Cornell in Washington programme is definitely one programme which I would not want to miss out on. Additionally, I will want to participate in the numerous internship opportunities that are offered by Cornell. Nothing beats studying the real world. This first-hand learning experience in Washington would add value to my study of economics by allowing me to see how theory is applied to reality in one of the most economically cities in the world.

Finally, I would want seize the opportunity to participate in Cornell's Study Abroad Programme as well. I hope to broaden my perspective of global economics through the programme by studying the economics systems in multiple nations. Only through the global exchange of ideas would I be able to sieve out the best practices and subsequently apply it to policy formation in future. Additionally, in the 21st century, international economics is integrated. Therefore, it is naïve to think that it is possible to truly understand economics by studying the subject within the confines of one country. Cornell's Study Abroad Programme would provide me with a solid foundation in the understanding of the growing interconnectedness of economies and prepare me well for the future.

With such comprehensive programmes in Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences coupled with my great passion for economics, there is no place better for me than Cornell.

(713 words)

EF_Sean 6 / 3460  
Dec 20, 2008   #2
Well, the first paragraph could probably be cut in its entirety. The rest of the essay has a clear focus -- your passion for economics. The first paragraph has absolutely nothing to do with economics. Therefore, I would advise you to cut the first paragraph even if you weren't looking to shorten the essay. Since you are, this is an obvious place to start. I assume you included the paragraph to meet the "evolution of your interests" part of the prompt, but I think you'll be okay without it. If you absolutely want to keep the idea that you were once primarily interested in geography, try to reduce the paragraph to a sentence or two and combine it with the second paragraph.
OP chickpig 9 / 26  
Dec 20, 2008   #3
Yeah I was thinking of whether I needed to show the evolution by mentioning the shift. Since it is clear enough, I'll remove that portion. Thank you!
OP chickpig 9 / 26  
Dec 27, 2008   #4
Actually, after reviewing the essay, I find that the front portion of paragraph 1 is still relevant because it refers to the social sciences, which is related to the subject of economics.

If I were to retain that portion and remove the geography part, I would still run over the word limit.

What do you think? Do you have any other suggestions? Any grammatical errors? Thanks.


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