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Colorado College - Supplemental Essay: Why do you want to attend?



chantalkelly 1 / -  
Nov 11, 2016   #1
This is my essay to Colorado College for the supplemental part. The question was: How did you learn about Colorado College and why do you wish to attend? (no more than 500 words). I would love some feedback on it!

I'm that typical person who stumbled across Colorado College on the internet. The article, "30 Great Small Colleges for Nature Lovers," introduced me to what would end up being my first choice school. As I researched CC more, I found myself checking off everything on my list for what I desired in a school: located in the mountains, a rigorous liberal education, small class size, a focus on leadership skills and sustainability.

Regardless of how I learned about CC, I can see myself flourishing in the community. With so many student organizations, volunteer opportunities and outdoor activities, CC gives me the ability to be part of the community in every aspect possible. For example, I'm able to put my passion for public policy issues, which working for the Fund for the Public Interest ignited, by joining the Public Interest Fellowship Program. Along with public policy issues, living sustainability and protecting our environment is another one of my passions. I can picture myself living in the Synergy House, creating a delicious dinner plate filled with vegetables from our backyard garden. My love for the outdoors, helping others and gardening can be incorporated during block breaks on a BreakOut Service trip to volunteer at local farms. In addition to CC's vibrant and intimate community, the Environmental Program drew me in from the first visit to the website.

The Science of Sustainability, a class I'm currently taking and loving, has exposed me to global climate change, sustainable development and human impact on biogeochemical cycles. The Integrated Environmental Science major requires classes based on these topics, and I can't wait to learn more about them through field trips, critical thinking and discussions. The block plan will allow me to fully emerge myself in each of these classes, one at a time, allowing me to grow more every three ˝ weeks than any other school.

kiki23 37 / 58  
Nov 11, 2016   #2
Hi! I have some feedback for you! Feel free to correct me!

It will be better if you do not use the abbreviation in writing formal essay.

I'm... >>> I am...

I can't... >>> I cannot...
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Nov 11, 2016   #3
Chantal, could you revise the beginning of your essay a bit so that it doesn't sound so much like you actually just picked the college off the internet? In all college applications, a sense of personal discovery and interest, usually not related to a Google search often works to the benefit of the student. You can still use the reference to the article you found online but, I would suggest that you say something along the lines of "I first heard about Colorado College from my other classmates who were discussing nature based education in college." or something along those lines. That way, it will appear that your interest in the university came from an exchange of knowledge which led to the internet search. Instead of simply saying you searched for the university online. That sounds so cold and technical. Somehow, colleges and universities still look for some sort of personal or intellectual connection with the school and their educational programs. Referrals from others are often appreciated.


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