1. intellectually engaging experience
"Yes we are the first ones!"
It was a bright and sunny day in Chicago. The Windy City was calm and peaceful at 9 A.M. as my parents and I stood outside the Art Institute of Chicago. On a Monday morning, the whopping crowd of ten people stood anxiously awaiting the doors to be opened by a bored looking security guard. I shuffled over to the stone lions and began to take some photos. After a few shots, I heard the "CLICK" of the museum door opening.
"Winston!"
"Coming mom!"
I bounded up the steps of the museum, ran over several people, and filed in after the other visitors in line. A few minutes later, I began my tour of the museum, armed with a camera, sketchbook, and pencils.
That day, I was fortunate enough to experience a retrospective of Dali. As a painter, Dali experimented with and explored a variety of different concepts: paranoia, religion, science...etc. Walking through the paintings, I found that I was fascinated with his portrayal of the human subconscious. In paintings such as the La Persistance De La Mïmoire and Metamorphosis of Narcissus Dali depicts dreamlike settings to emphasize space-time concepts and vanity. These paintings greatly intrigue my mind. On the one hand, I found them whimsical, as if Dali had accidentally put his pocket watch in a microwave; however, on the other hand, the painting reflected a sense of anxious peacefulness. As I walked out of the museum into the bright sunlight of Michigan Avenue, I was deep in thought.
Dali's retrospective was an intellectual treasure trove. As I grabbed lunch at a Subway with my parents, I could not stop thinking of how Dali played with time in his paintings. How can time be tangible that an artist like Dali could deter, arrest, or hasten it on a canvas? The heavens dictate time, humans record it. As an artist, I began take great interest in time as matter, concrete and tangible, and record its movements.
2. letter to roommate to help us better understand you
Dear Roommate,
I'm so glad we can't light fires in our dorms. Don't panic! I'm not a pyromaniac stashing explosives under my bed; however, I am an artist with canisters of turpentine in the closet. I apologize up front about the smell, but what odor can't be removed with some Febreeze? As for oil paints, I will spare you the trouble of possible cancer. I hope to make our dorm as lively as possible; after all, it will be our home for quite a while.
We have one room to share, so I will keep the painting in the studio. However, it doesn't mean there won't be art supplies everywhere. You see I'm not the world's biggest neat freak, but I will do my best not to have you slip on color pencils. After all, I don't want to step into a bucket of paint when I wake up.
With that said, let's make the best of our stay in the dorm! How about making it the most comfortable dorm ever? Throw in some lava lamps and a soft couch! With some design skills, I can transform a regular dorm into something you see on HGTV. It will be a wonderful environment where we can study and play. By the time we leave, it will feel like we're leaving home.
Stanford isn't always about studying! In the less than one percent time we have to enjoy ourselves, we can visit the gym and shoot some hoops or troop out to the lawn and throw a freebee around. Like to go out? Let's explore the city and its night life! And if we have a few hours, I'm can even teach you how to paint if you want!
I may not be the most organized person you meet, but I am friendly and laidback. So let me accommodate my habits to your needs and make the best of our time at Stanford!
were you supposed to do this in a story manner or narrative should say,
but i do not know if i am correct, but think so,
Cool! Great use of "whopping." This essay sort of whops the reader, too, because it has some great words.
...crowd of ten people stood anxiously awaiting the opening of the doors to be opened by a bored looking security guard.
I think subconscious is not the right word, but I may be wrong! You be the one to decide what is right. I really am not sure... but here is my idea:
I found that I was fascinated with his portrayal of the human subconscious consciousness. For example, in paintings such as the La Persistance De La Mémoire and Metamorphosis of Narcissus Dali depicts dreamlike settings to emphasize space-time concepts and vanity. ----I added 'for example' because this makes it clear that you are substantiating your claim about your ability to appreciate his portrayal of consciousness.
These paintings greatly intrigue my mind. This is an example of a sentence an essay would be stronger without. It is like a weed in the garden of your essay.
