common app short answer: tennis in my life

can seem to get it to flow

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).

I have never picked up a tennis racket in my life. So it was not shocking I was cut from the Varsity Tennis team. Practicing my volleys and serves everyday in the hot summer sun and in the frigid fall temperatures, I returned to the court for tryouts. I received a white envelope, my results waited inside, and the first word I saw when I opened it up, "CONGRATULATIONS!" Happy, but due to the extensive size of the team I was an alternate. Junior year, I was positioned to play mixed doubles.Tennis gave me more than just physical awards it gave me the emotional will power to finish my goals to the very last stroke. I learned that with an individual sport like tennis it still is a team sport and your teammates will always be rooting for you even if it is silent.

i didnt quite understand this sentence, but other than that, it great :D

Well, you start right in with the story... that is the problem. You need to connect with the reader first. Did that really say "CONGRATULATIONS!" You are an alternate? That is harsh, because someone might really have their hopes up, and then they see "congratulations," and then it turns out that they actually only get to be an alternate. Kind of harsh!

I think this is a good way to connect with the reader:
"CONGRATULATIONS!" You do not get to be a starting player. (and then you can explain what happened, and why, but you need to have a theme!

What is the theme, here You said you can't get it to flow, and that is because it lacks purpose. If that last sentence expresses the main idea, it is pretty weak. You can come up with a more poignant and meaningful truth to express.

:-)

i think your sentence structures seem a bit confusing.
something like you try to put as many points as possible into one sentence, which makes your sentences very heard to get.
and I agree with Kevin, your answer seems to be an incident/story rather a description of your activity