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Undergraduate   Posts: 4

Common App essay on baking. Cake as a form of expression

kebegan 1 / 1  
Oct 12, 2018   #1
Common App - Prompt is any

essay of your choice

Suggestions for corrections?

"Any brownies in this household must be made from box mix and cut with a plastic knife." That is the rule my mother learned from my grandmother, then passed down to me. Baked goods have always been an important part of our family and I cannot recall one instance in which I have visited my grandparents' house and a pan of brownies has not been waiting for us on the kitchen counter.

My love for baking blossomed the year I received an easy-bake oven for Christmas. If you are not familiar with the name, easy-bake ovens are plastic toy ovens powered by a single lightbulb. Now if you read that description and think that doesn't sound like a device capable of creating edible food, then you would be correct. I have many memories of sitting by the so-called oven for hours on end just waiting for it to bake a cake no larger than the size of a single silver-dollar pancake. Luckily my parents eventually allowed me to upgrade from cooking by lightbulb to use of the kitchen oven. With use of a real appliance, I was no longer confined to a 4 x 0.5-inch pan and 100-watt lightbulb. The options for my confectionary creations were endless.

What started as a family tradition and hobby quickly became a love of mine that connected to my other interests, such as science. Baking is a form of chemistry; mix your batter too long and your cake turns out tough and chewy instead of moist and fluffy. Even having your butter too cold or too much melted can ruin the confection. It took many cycles of trial and error, sometimes having to repeat and tweak the same recipe several times before the confection was baked to my liking. As I became more comfortable with the basics of chocolate chip cookies and cupcakes frosted with sprinkles, I explored more complex confections and skills such as fondant work.

A freshly baked cake is a blank canvas with the potential to display my creativity. While my cakes never look quite as good as those of Cake Boss' Buddy Valastro and Charm City Cakes' Duff Goldman seen on television, I always feel a sense of accomplishment upon completion of a cake, as I see it as a form of expression more than a sugary treat my family is eager to gobble up after dinner.
James1135 1 / 2 1  
Oct 12, 2018   #2
Great essay! "lightbulb" is actually two words, you used it twice in your essay. I'd suggest adding a comma after year in your second paragraph. If I was you I'd add a adjective when you talk about the easy bake oven, "4 x 0.5-inch pan and 100-watt lightbulb." This would just give it more content and spice it up a bit.
OP kebegan 1 / 1  
Oct 12, 2018   #3
Thanks so much for the critiques, it means a lot
I'll be sure to take a look at your essay and do my best to help!
Holt - / 7,651 1998  
Oct 12, 2018   #4
I am confused about the actual point of this open topic essay. What was the personal prompt that you created when you thought of writing about this topic? You should have included your personal prompt in the presentation in order to help the reviewer understand what the whole point of your essay is. At first I thought you were applying for admission to a Chemistry major which is why you referred to referred to baking as being a form of Chemistry. That is one option for your prompt. Then later on you said you simply wanted to bake because of a sense of accomplishment and a form of self expression. That would be option 2 for the meaning of this essay.

You need to choose one of the two and remove the reference to one of them because those 2 paragraphs focus on 2 different topics. Just because this is an open topic essay doesn't mean that you can just ramble on and present unrelated talking points. You need to present a cohesive topic within the essay which is supported by the discussion in your paragraphs. Please consider what your actual personal discussion prompt will be about and adjust the paragraph content of your essay accordingly. Don't forget to include your actual personal prompt when you submit the essay as the instruction guide for the reviewer while reading your essay.

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