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[COMMON APP] COUNTDOWN TO A NEW CHAPTER



hannah suitor 3 / 5  
Dec 26, 2023   #1
I have written a new essay, please give feedback on this one!!! (The reason I write a new essay is because I think I should make an essay that linked to my major: business adminstration) Sorry for annoying everyone 😢😢

Topic: Share any topics you choose.
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12 hours left.

As I sat in the first meeting, the weight of responsibility settled heavily on my shoulders. This wasn't just my first experience in a business competition; it was also my first time leading a team without a mentor's safety net. The anxiety was palpable, especially with a team of randomly matched, inexperienced members.

I studied at a local school where extracurricular activities are sparse. Until my high school years, my world revolved around books and exams. However, a pivotal failure in my favorite competition during my first high school year shattered my complacency. Suddenly, I was ignited to explore beyond the confines of my comfort zone.

Joining the VAC, a free mentoring agency for students aspiring to study abroad, exposed me to a world of diversity and dynamism. I am responsible for designing portfolios for fellow students. It truly opened my eyes to a version of myself I aspired to become-a multifaceted individual engaged in a variety of activities. Leveraging my network, I sought advice from business students. They all advise me to try myself in some non-academic competition.

10 hours left.

After knowing my team's strengths and weaknesses, I initiated a knowledge-sharing session. The test will last for 1 hour and 30 minutes, featuring 15 questions. The initial 11 questions will focus on basic knowledge, followed by two short-answer questions. The final involves solving a big case. I read the hint from the organizer and strategically divided my teammate to find information on different topics: marketing models, business models, and design thinking. Since I have rudimentary knowledge about marketing, I will be responsible for the final big case. I let them prepare their sections independently, and afterward, we held a short meeting to share knowledge, answer questions, and learn from each other. Though it was my first attempt at this approach, it proved to be quite effective.

5 hours left.

I wrapped up our second meeting with a carefully crafted plan detailing who would handle each task. Although we felt confident in our knowledge, a new challenge arose. The competition coincided with our final exams, leaving us without a team member for the first 30 minutes. Engrossed in the final case, I couldn't spare time to manage this situation. Fortunately, a teammate stepped up to the task. On that day, someone like me, accustomed to working solo, finally grasped the significance of having a supportive teammate.

Question released. 1 hour, 30 minutes left.

My adrenaline soared as I read my case. It was unexpectedly challenging and quite different from what I had anticipated. The other girls faced similar difficulties and couldn't assist me with brainstorming. Yet, I understood the importance of excelling in this task, as it accounted for 50% of the score. Failing meant all the effort from me and my teammates would be in vain. Fortunately, a spark of inspiration hit me. Although I couldn't recall it, I took a moment to calm down and remember what I had prepared about recent trends in user experience, case flow, and potential solutions. That's it! I started jotting down my thoughts quickly. Simultaneously, the other girls came up with suitable answers; our work smoothly came together on time.

1 minute after the results are out.

The sight before me is surreal; we made it to the top 30 nationally. The experience, laden with firsts, taught me the true value of leadership and teamwork. Another revelation dawned as the adrenaline subsided-a newfound love for analyzing complex business scenarios and formulating solutions. I realized that I thrive in dynamic, challenging environments where I can strategize and innovate. The ongoing journey may or may not lead to a championship, but this transformative experience revealed a potential within me that had long gone unnoticed. In the end, not every story concludes with a beautiful ending, but if I don't pick up the pen, I won't even have a story.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
Dec 27, 2023   #2
I like the topic you have chosen to write about. I do not think you should be using the open topic prompt for it though. It seems out of place because the topic you are discussing has an actual focus and directly relates to one of the given prompts. You could actually use this under the unfamiliar situation prompt for a much more relevant impact upon the reviewer. The overall essay meets the requirements for the presentation of that topic. Your uncertainty, your apprehension, your reaction, the final outcome, all of these work together to allow you to present a clear unfamiliar discussion scenario. Do not waste the information on an unrelated prompt. That would not be beneficial to you.


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