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Common App: Fundraising consultant, physical therapist and neonatologist


SweetGirl 2 / 5  
Dec 23, 2008   #1
Please write an essay (250 words minimum) on a topic of your choice or on one of the options listed below. This personal essay helps us to become acquainted with you as a person and student, apart from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will also demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself.

Fundraising consultant, physical therapist and neonatologist. Three jobs that I dream of doing. The reactions to them: "Why don't you do business instead of fundraising consultant, it's better". "Physical therapy? That is a job of an assistant, why don't you be a general doctor? Plus, physical therapists don't get paid as much." "Neonatologist? What exactly does a neonatologist do?"After the explanation: "ah...now that's better". These are all the answers my dad came up with when I told him about the different jobs I wanted to do. My father has always pushed me to move beyond what my young mind conceived for my future, and I am now very glad that this loving pressure proved stronger than my inexperienced resistence.

Every time I would tell my father one job that I want to do, he would go online and start researching it. He would look at what it is exactly, how much it pays and probably how needed it will be in the future. Sometimes, when I wouldn't agree with his opinions, he would even ask his friends and of course, they eventually would end up having the same opinion as him. This would get me even angrier, but one other thing I've got to admit is that I am a little stubborn, so sometimes even if I knew they were right, I would still not change my mind.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not complaining and I certainly don't want to make him look bad. I've got to admit that, though I actually appreciate his answers now, before, they would get on my nerves, and I would think that nothing pleased him. I would go and complain to my sister, telling her that I don't see the point in him telling us we can do what we want, if in the end he is going to change it into something else. But with time, I've come to understand him and to understand what he meant. We always see in movies and in life, a parent that puts his child on his shoulders, so that the child can see well. The parent takes his child to a vantage point. He does this every time, until the child reaches the day when he is old enough and tall enough to see properly by himself.

Well, my dad is kind of like this. He may say things that seem mean, but all he is trying to do is help me see better. He knows there is more out there, he is preparing me for my future. I mean I've got to agree, he's the adult, and he stands much taller than me when it comes to such things. Him telling me that my job is not good enough really means that I could do better. His research shows me that there are more opportunities. He makes me research even more because he wants me to see everything clearly.

His "higher perspective" not only made choose a better career path, but also helped me find a vocation that I really liked and in a way fulfilled what I liked in the other careers. As a neonatologist, I will be able to help the most innocent beings on earth, babies. I already knew that I loved babies, and that I would like a job that helped people. However, I didn't know a job that would include both. But, it is the fact that my dad always pushed me, which made me find out about neonatology. What felt like pushing, was actually lifting. I came to find out that his answers weren't degrading but rather encouraging and protecting, and for that I will forever be grateful.

Basically if you could just please help me review it and maybe find a title. I can't find one yet.. Thanks in advance.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Dec 23, 2008   #2
An interesting story that is different enough from the normal topics to stand out on the application. Good job. I especially liked the metaphor of a child being lifted upon on her father's shoulders. Perhaps that could be your title "On my father's shoulders." Just a thought.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 24, 2008   #3
Put those periods inside the quotation marks:

The reactions to them: "Why don't you do business instead of fundraising consultant, it's better." "Physical therapy? That is a job of an assistant, why don't you be a general doctor? Plus, physical therapists don't get paid as much." "Neonatologist? What exactly does a neonatologist do?"After the explanation: "ah...now that's better."

Wow, your second paragraph is really cool. You seem like a great person.

Right here you can use a colon:

Well, my dad is kind of like this: He may say things that seem mean...

When you decide on a title, you might want to use the word "perspectives" in it!!!

:)
OP SweetGirl 2 / 5  
Dec 24, 2008   #4
Thanx a lot guys for your help. I still didn't decide on the title..but i should probably do that soon..thanx for ur ideas anyway.. :)
OP SweetGirl 2 / 5  
Dec 26, 2008   #5
hey guys...i was thinking of Battle of Wills as a title.. what do you think?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 26, 2008   #6
Sounds great!! :)
yfung91 3 / 8  
Dec 26, 2008   #7
I like your essay a lot. It's very straight forward and a topic people can relate too (my dad does this too!!) I like that the essay also shows how you've matured, because you are now able to look at your dad's advice differently >> Now you appreciate it, but back then it was "got on your nerves."

Good luck =)
OP SweetGirl 2 / 5  
Dec 28, 2008   #8
Thanx Kevin and Yung-En.. I already submitted so hopefully it will get me in... anyway thnx again..tke care


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