Prompt,Comman Application main essay.
Influencial Person.
I haven't thought of a good title for it. May be someone can help me.
Hope for your advice.
When I got home later than schedule, I would expect the plates to be empty. She would eat everything delicious and left me only porridge. When I handed her homework asking her to look through, she would turn me down. I explained if my teacher found mistakes, I wouldn't get any awards. She shrugged and said it's not her business.
I never really understood my mother's love when I was young.
A boy bullied me. I begged her to fight for me with tearing eyes. She didn't comfort me, but pointing at the wooden broom in the corner of the room and suggested that I should equip myself. I was angry at her, but I had no choice. Broom in hand, I made the boy run to his mom crying for rescue. Mother was so happy that she rewarded me with a big box of chocolate.
When I skated up a slope in my new skating shoes, I fell and both of my knees were bleeding. I shouted for help, but she stuck at the top of the slope waiting for me with open arms. I got off my skating shoes, stood up and went to her with bitter pain. She took me in arms with a big smile. Mother never minds how many times I fell down.
She never sent me to ping-pang class. She thought I could walk myself. She never washed my sweaty Taekwondo clothes. She never accompanies me playing the piano. I learned to ride the bike with my friend's help. I lived at my uncle's for summer and she only called me twice in two months.
She played her role as a mother in her own way. I finally realized how dedicated she is when I grew older. She chose to resist the temptation of soap opera every night when I labor on an instrument. She wants her child to think that everybody in the family is working but entertaining. (Her job is relaxing and she doesn't really have work to do in the evenings) She scarcely offered any help when I'm learning a new sport, but she offers me with interesting sports equipments. She would run around the city, made a dozen phone calls, just to buy me the first monocycle in the neighborhood. She would send me away to have fun and not bother her child with calls. She remained silence waiting for my calls and never shared her worries. She passed on her wisdom of love in a silence way. She would offer her encouragement and life philosophy in a broom, but words. She managed to let me learn from practice, but preach. I went through my rebellious stage maintaining close relationship with her. She is the one standing along side my road watching me running with love, not the one holding my hands trying to guide me, but her guidance is always with me, only harder to perceive.
The older I grew, the more I can understand about my mother's unique way of love. Despite all the wisdom she intended to teach me, I learned one extra thing--the way of love.
I think the topic is a little bit old, but I've tried my best to write it.
Your grammer makes it difficult to understand this piece sometimes.
Do you think it's not good for a mother to sugget her child fight the bully?
^Although this is a little...off, you fought that bully at a young age so the negative aspects of it aren't as profound. Now if your still beating up your enemies at the age of seventeen...this would be a problem.
When I skated up a slope in my new skating shoes, I fell and both of my knees were bleeding.
^You mean rollerblading? Cause I can't imagine ice skating up a slope.
Your grammar is an issue. No doubt about that.
The transition between what your mother did not do for you, and what she did, is not a very good one. You just suddenly mention how your mother is 'dedicated', without any proper reasoning as to what makes you believe she is. You just make sentences, that have some meaning, but absolutely no discussion. Therefore, it lacks personality and effectiveness.
I believe your essay is a good starting off point, but you definietly need to fix the grammar. I think you get your past and present tenses confused often. Also, the beginning needs to have a better start. I wouldn't just jump into descriptions about your mother in the first sentence..build up to it.
