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Common App - Significant experience (Living in another country)



the_lie 2 / 4  
Jan 15, 2009   #1
Hello, this is an essay for the common application where I describe my experiences in another country and my return to the US. Feel free to help me correct it with constructive criticism. Thanks in advance.

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

If Nicaragua were to be molded into any of the fifty states, it would most closely fit into the state of New York. As far as comparisons go, that is as much as these two places have in common. Nicaragua is drastically different to New York. Nicaragua is located in an isthmus in Central America; it has a tropical climate year-round and only has two "seasons": wet and dry. New York has well-defined and unforgiving seasons with which one must keep up or else face the consequence of underestimating them. The Nicaraguan dry and wet seasons, in contrast, are generally forgiving and do not have much variety besides the occasional rain during the wet season. Last but not least, New York is a powerhouse of the US economy; Nicaragua is a small and simple country that yearns for greater goods and has a very special place in my memory.

Upon moving there, the Nicaragua of the time was a country recovering from the revolutionary turmoil that occurred during the eighties decades and as such, I experienced a country that was struggling to recovering and moving forward in its political and economic facets. However, the situation did not deter me from appreciating the experiences I lived and the memories are not tainted with resentment from the struggle. Nicaragua has remained for me a symbol of constancy. Every time I visit it, the same green canopies and unending chains of mountains greet me for my stay, and remind me of the fondest memories of when I lived there. I moved from Miami, Florida when I was six years old. Immersion was not a problem; my parents were Nicaraguan and they had taught me Spanish already. I was enrolled in a bilingual school. There, I experienced wonderful memories and met interesting people from all parts of the world. Firstly, I remember my first grade teacher was Finnish and I also remember when she made us memorize a traditional folk song for us to present and sing for an audience; the tune I currently cannot remember, but the overall impression of this memory remains with me as a dearly recollection of my early childhood. Secondly, I met remarkable individuals from different places of the world with whom I became great friends and whom to this day I still keep in touch since elementary. Now all these memories of childhood friends, teachers, places... they have all nearly vanished with the passing of time and yet whenever I return to visit, the backdrop to all that was my past remains the same.

Seventh grade meant to me change. Seventh grade was the time I returned to the United States; it was the time I experienced progress. The United States embodies change and progress. At the time this progress--this change-- was something I feared when I was so used to constancy. I wanted to hold to the constancy that Nicaragua gave me. I wanted to hold on to those familiar faces and school. As human nature presumes, I grew accustomed to this new progress; I began to appreciate it; I began to embody it was a way of life. What saddened my nostalgic self as I recently revisited Nicaragua was that I realized that Nicaragua yearned for this progress. I noticed its mobilization to achieve this progress and that constancy that reassured me of the bliss of my memories was vanishing. The thought that I would always have a haven of my past memories was childish at the time and realized Nicaragua will not stay the same; progress is a necessary component of everything. Still, the inner child in me finds comfort in memories and delights whenever I encounter mementos of the pasts.

noori1234 2 / 8  
Jan 15, 2009   #2
During the first part of your essay you repeat the word NICARAGUA a lot. It gets a little repetitive.
OP the_lie 2 / 4  
Jan 15, 2009   #3
Thanks. Anything else I should revise? Any other suggestions?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jan 15, 2009   #4
Nicaragua is drastically different from New York.

The Nicaraguan dry and wet seasons, in contrast, are generally forgiving and do not have much variety besides the occasional rain during the wet season.

Did you mean (above) to say the dry season? :)

Upon moving there, the Nicaragua of the time was a country recovering from the revolutionary turmoil that occurred during the eighties decade and as such, I experienced a country that was struggling to recover and moving forward in its political and economic facets.

Secondly, I met remarkable individuals from different places of the world with whom I became great friends and whom to this day I still keep in touch since elementary school.

The thought that I would always have a haven of my past memories was childish at the time and I realized Nicaragua will not stay the same; progress is a necessary component of everything.

Still, the inner child in me finds comfort in memories and delights whenever I encounter mementos of the past.
I think though, that instead of "past" you should write Nicaragua.

Hope this helps:)


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