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Common essay: Dissection all comments are welcomed :)



justinwang 10 / 28  
Dec 24, 2008   #1
Choice of my own: dissection

A haze of chalk powder surged in front of me and made me choke. I raised my drowsy head from a pile of books and looked up. The huge blackboard hung right up there, making grimaces. I laid down my pen, stared at it with both intimacy and strangeness. Having been its friend for years, I suddenly found that I never understood it fully in detail: How was it made? Why was it made in this way? And... Why was it there? These incessant, seemingly childish questions quickly dragged me into bouncy thoughts. With the expectation and excitement to discover what Newton had seen in a fallen apple, I just couldn't wait to scrutinize the blackboard, dissect it and completely understand it...

My passion was ignited and started to speed. A 3-D model of the blackboard was soon constructed in my mind. I readily dismantled it off the wall without the help of hammers or screwdrivers, inspecting it in my mind thoroughly from every angle, starting from the most basic aspects: Why was this chunky friend so swarthy and always confined within the exact design of shortened rectangle? These two questions sprang into my mind and were neatly resolved within 20 seconds. Its black skin absorbed dazzling light and really made sharp contrast against chalk. It could be too bright if bleached into snow-white. And its stature was due to efficiency, maximizing the area with a limited height. As a means of displaying knowledge in most cases, its shape carried a sense of simplicity and steadiness. Make it a circle? To be frank, it's quite impossible for me to concentrate when facing something resembling a huge basketball!

My first round of detachment proved to be a success and my curiosity was intensified. For further discovery, I approached the blackboard and tapped its surface softly. A weak sound made by metal echoed across my ears to and fro, mixed with an instant bass sound made by wood. Then, I touched the surface with my finger and palm, feeling for the first time that it was just as smooth as a Persian carpet ---- a delicate paint cover! I flashed back to the model in my mind and quickly complicated it into a three-tier one. "Isn't it a wonderful architecture?" I asked myself with the delight of discovery. Indeed, the inner wood bolstered the blackboard with its durability. The metal toughened it like a shell. The delicate paint, not only guaranteed the flowing feeling of writing, but also prevented the metal from rusting. The silver rims and bolts consolidated it, fastening the constitution firmly as a whole, unshakable, intact. What an exquisite structure! I found it fascinating.

My work didn't end here. Creative thinking soon ensued and permeated. My imagination was effervescing. "This can be made better!" I eagerly murmured while sinking myself into the brainstorm: "Isn't the pervasive powder so disturbing? If the blackboard isn't erased then the problem won't occur...What if I peel off the surface instead of cleaning it... Yes! Why not stack the covers layer by layer and make it peel-able? This frees teachers from continually breathing in the choking dust...Wait... If it can be cleaned elsewhere... Right! It will be wonderful if the blackboard has two sides, which, if driven by a horizontal axis, can easily revolve and alternate. Thus, a sort of machine can do the cleaning inside...What if..." Streams of ideas rushed to me unboundedly as vivacious images bounced everywhere. I was so intoxicated that I even chuckled involuntarily, until I embarrassedly met pairs of displeased eyes mixed with confusion.

A sheer satisfaction indeed, it requires only an acute eye and willingness to imagine. Why waste the opportunity to understand, to discover, but kill time senselessly? Things that seem extremely commonplace might turn out to be colorful and meaningful beyond expectation once dissected thoroughly.

Masses of powder surged again and my thoughts were drawn back. I looked through. Instead of seeing a blank board, I saw the shoulder of a giant.

Please give me some adivice :)

dodohuipy 2 / 14  
Dec 24, 2008   #2
hey
ur a good write but u prb have ppl telling u that. i see three qualities about u in the essay: ur willing to imagine, ur creative and ur a good writer. which is....good i guess, but wouldn't u want to show the admin more
OP justinwang 10 / 28  
Dec 24, 2008   #3
thanks, but how could I revise this essay and show the administrater more? Could you please offer me more specific advice :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Dec 24, 2008   #4
A sheer satisfaction indeed, it requires only an acute eye and willingness to imagine. Why waste the opportunity to understand, to discover, and instead kill time senselessly?

Good essay:)

Kevin
OP justinwang 10 / 28  
Dec 31, 2008   #5
Is it good enough to be an application essay?


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