Commonapp "Pick one activity and elaborate..." Fort Wayne Children's Choir

All feedback is appreciated!
The prompt reads..

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

As a 3 year old from the back seat of my parents' car, I would often request my Dad turn off the Rolling Stones and pop in the Mozart CD. Later, I was giddy to be cast as the lead boy soprano role of Beethoven in my fifth grade musical. It was then that my father gave up on his dream of making me the heir to his prized collection of vintage electric guitars, and decided to audition me for the Fort Wayne Children's Choir. For the next 7 years, I would have an experience thats power still multiplies. Beyond improving musicianship, my training and touring with the choir introduced me to a sense of professionalism and responsibility, and deepened my understanding of people, culture, and myself. I know this opportunity will serve me far beyond the career in music I now endeavor to achieve. As a student, leader, and human rights activist, I have found my independent voice and strength through the power of song. It is my aspiration to uncover this voice in others. So I shall sing on.

As a 3 year old from the back seat of my parents' car, I would often request my Dadto turn off the Rolling Stones and pop in the Mozart CD. Later, I was giddy to be cast as the lead boy soprano role of Beethoven in my fifth grade musical. It was then that my father gave up on his dream of making me the heir to his prized collection of vintage electric guitars, and decided to auditionlet me try out for the Fort Wayne Children's Choir. For the next 7 years, I would have an experience thats power still multiplies. (awkward sentence) Beyond improving my musical skills , my training and touring with the choir introduced me to a sense of professionalism and responsibility, and deepened my understanding of people, culture, and myself. I know this opportunity will serve me far beyond the career in music I now endeavor to achieve. As a student, leader, and human rights activist, I have found my independent voice and strength through the power of song. It is my aspiration to uncover this voice in others. So I shall sing on.

Dad is not capitalized.