A computer engineering degree will enable me to explore much of the world; Life Goals APPLY TEXAS

Please let me know what I should add or delete! Any feedback is welcome!

Considering your lifetime goals, discuss how your current and future academic and extra-curricular activities might help you achieve your goals.

Ever since I was a child, I have been fascinated by the capabilities of humans. Unlike any other species, we have the power to create and innovate. I have always found a liking in those who can create and captivate. Art museums were my favorite places to go because my little mind just couldn't escape the astonishment of the beautiful pieces displayed. I loved watching ice skaters and gymnasts use their bodies to display the beauty of humans. But the phenomenon of the human mind that beguiles me the most is technology. Technology is the ultimate manifestation of the human mind as it is something completely created by the minds of humans. From the invention of the compass by the Chinese Han Dynasty to Neil Armstrong on the moon, technology has become a symbol of the progression of humans. This fascination is what spurred my interest in the computer engineering field. This field will allow me to aid humanity and provide hope to mankind.

It is easy to state that there are many problems with this world. Much of these problems require critical thinking and creativity. Both these qualities are highly utilized in computer engineering and in my everyday life. In the past four years I have engaged myself in many competitions that utilize the critical thinking aspect. HOSA competition was one that I was able to use my prior knowledge and the mind to incur solutions to everyday problems via healthcare. Other clubs such as Mu Alpha Theta(math club) and Chemistry club has further spurred my imagination to solve problems using only the mind. These activities have allowed me to appreciate the capacities of the human mind. My many years in art have developed my creative side tremendously. Being able to create is a skill I work on improving every day. I love the ability to create something from my surrounding. But I have always wanted infuse aesthetics with efficiency. With computer engineering I can integrate the mind and technology to create efficient tools to solve the many problems of humanity.

Many of the problems that we face as humankind originate from the hundreds of people that are suffering, weather it is from disease, hunger, etc. In my perfect world I would want everyone to be happy and satisfied with what they have. Unfortunately this is not a perfect world. Technology can help people but more than that it can give hope to humankind. The continual manifestation of things out of the human mind is a constant reminder that anything is possible. In the past four years, I have partaken in many volunteering organizations. In habitat for humanity, I have helped build four houses for four families in need. Once every month I visit the local homeless shelter and provide breakfast. And every other Sunday I volunteer at a free medical clinic designed solely for those who are not insured. From these experiences I don't only see how my little efforts can brighten their entire day but I see how a sliver of hope can be the catalyst to their future. Computer engineering takes me out of the soup kitchen to create something larger and more spectacular to provide hope.

Everything I was involved in led up to this one decision and it seems that all my other aspirations will flow out of this degree. Getting a degree is not by final goal by far. It is more of the gateway to me fulfilling many more of my dreams. A computer engineering degree will enable me to explore much of the world through a medium that I love thus letting me explore the vast nature of humanity. It will enable me to be at the fore front of a revolution that will aid humanity and provide hope.

Hey, I think your essay is great, but I would add a bit more specific information, like what program you chose and what is appealing about it, maybe there are some clubs you are interested in, anything.

Lance Armstrong is a disgraced bicycle racer, he was not the first man on the moon. When you write such an important essay, you need to make sure you have your facts straight. The first man on the moon was Neil Armstrong. I can understand how you could get confused since they have the same last name. Your essay also does not properly respond to the prompt provided. You are supposed to present a list of your extra curricular activities that relate to your chosen major.The best way to respond to this essay is to first state what your goals in life are and then explain how you have been participating in specific activities that you have designed to help prepare you to achieve those lifetime goals. I don't see any reference to such preparations in this version of the essay so you will need to write a totally new one which will hopefully better respond to the prompt :-)

Really Great Essay!!
But "fore front" - is one word -- "forefront". (you might written it like that but the web page probs made it like that)

Other than that, its all good.
And it definitely answers the prompt.

do you think it answers the topic? and is there any awkward parts that i can fix?

This essay is good!
I would just say to parallel this sentence, "From the invention of the compass by the Chinese Han Dynasty to Neil Armstrong on the moon,..." to something like "From the Chinese Han Dynasty's invention of the compass to Neil Armstrong's trek on the moon", or any other way that presents both actions in the same grammatical sense.

I would also say "I engaged in competition" instead of "engaged myself" and maybe just "that utilize critical thinking" to eliminate unnecessary words. Also, "weather it is from disease" should be "whether", not "weather."

And I don't know if "I have partaken" is correct grammar; I would just say something like " I have volunteered for many organizations"

That's all I saw!

I think you do a good job of being very specific in your involvement...a few pointers:

"aid humanity and provide hope to mankind" I know that it's hard setting a specific "life goal", but you should try and be less general and maybe talk about one issue that computer engineering can solve, and your personal or academic relation to that.

"I have engaged myself in many competitions" just say I have engaged in many competitions...

I agree with vlad7777, if you have any specific program within the school that you're interested in, then definitely mention it; as this essay can be applicable to many schools without specificity

Good luck!

I changed the conclusion slightly. Does this work better?

I have always wanted to change the world as many people want to do, however there is a difference in wanting and doing. It took me a while to find out how to change the world but somehow everything I was involved in led to this decision to major in computer engineering. The Erik Jonsson School of Engineering and Science and University of Texas at Dallas will allow me get my degree and open the gateway to fulfilling many more of my dreams. For instance, with this degree I wish to expand the horizons of education for those who do not have it. For me education is an unalienable right that should be provided to everyone. Through this platform I hope to benefit the large uneducated population of this world. Thus computer engineering will allow me to make progressive steps to advancing the world through a medium that I love thus letting me explore the vast nature of humanity. It will enable me to be at the forefront of the technological revolution which will solve problems and provide hope to the inhabitants of a world I have come to love.

The new conclusion works very well with the earlier parts of the essay. You have managed to create a clear picture of how your past interests, current extra curricular activities, and your future interests are all intricately interwoven in your plans both present and future in relation to your academic interests. The fact that you have managed to create a solid connection between these activities, interests, and desires with your goal of studying engineering should be applauded. I am sure that your essay will be met with a positive attitude when you submit it :-)