'The consequences of being premature' - college influence essay

hey guy here is a draft of my essay that i'm going to be sending in when i apply, i was wondering if you guys would see if their was anything i could add or change.

when I think of someone who has had a significant influence on me, I immediately think of my teacher, Erin Rothwell. She isn't just a teacher to me, to me she is someone who I admire and look up to and also someone who I consider is a second mother to me.

I was born on January 7th 1994 3 months' early weighting one pound 8 ouches. The doctors said I lucky to be alive, and that I was going to have some trouble learning in school because a normal pregnancy is 37 to 42 weeks and I was 26 weeks.

Growing up I didn't understand what were some of the consequences of being premature until the 2nd grade. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I had started doing bad in school for a couple of weeks and the teacher were concerned so they decided to have a meeting with my mother and I to tell her that I wasn't able to do most of the assignments that the other kids were doing and I should stay back a year and go into a class where I can get help because I have some type of learning disability. After the meeting was over I asked my mom what that meant and all she said was that everything was going to be ok and not to worry about anything. Fast forward to 8th grade and I'm finally able to understand what this learning disability actually was. It turns out that I sometimes have a hard time processing things in a way that I can understand and or remember them also during that time I started thinking of my future and what I wanted to do.

You should explain why your teacher had a significant influence or impact on you. What did she teach you? You end very abruptly and do not go into much detail about your struggle. Make the reader feel how hard it was for you with your disabilities and challenges and how you overcame them.

This is very interesting story, however what your essay lacks is stronger connection between your teacher and you.
In order to do that, try talk about WHAT exactly she helped you on, and HOW it affected you.

hey is a draft of what i think will be the final

When I think of someone who has had a significant influence on me, I immediately think of my teacher, Erin Rothwell. She isn't just a teacher to me, to me she is someone who I admire and look up to and also someone who I consider is a second mother to me.

I was born on January 7th 1994 3 months' early weighting one pound 8 ouches. The doctors said I lucky to be alive, and that I was going to have some trouble learning in school because a normal pregnancy is 37 to 42 weeks and I was 26 weeks.

Growing up I didn't understand what were some of the consequences of being premature until the 2nd grade. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I had started doing bad in school for a couple of weeks and the teacher were concerned so they decided to have a meeting with my mother and I to tell her that I wasn't able to do most of the assignments that the other kids were doing and I should stay back a year and go into a class where I can get help because I have some type of learning disability. After the meeting was over I asked my mom what that meant and all she said was that everything was going to be ok and not to worry about anything. Fast forward to middle school and I find out that I wasn't allowed to take a history or science class because they thought that it was going to be too hard for me. That year I met Mrs. Rothwell, she taught my Instructional support class. She showed me that I wasn't different from everyone else and that I could do anything that I set my mind to that year. Mrs. Rothwell and I actually broke down what my learning disability was. It turns out that I sometimes have a hard time processing things in a way that I can understand and or remember them. She helped me come up with a plan to overcome this and that was something that no one did with me before where as in middle school they tried to sugar coat it for me. Also during that time I started thinking of my future and what I wanted to do That At the start of the 10th grade I was having a lot of trouble of trouble with math and my grade was showing it. So Mrs. Rothwell took time out of her day after school to help me with the things that I struggled with until I understood them. She told me that if I ever needed help with some thing that I could always come to her Now that I'm in my last year of high school I'm finally able to look back on the 4 years that I have known Mrs. Rothwell and I can proudly say that if I hadn't met her I wouldn't be the person that I am today. Knowing her not only changed how I handle any challenges that I met in life but also how I have learned how important it is to have a caring teacher.