My conservative, Asian MOTHER; Tufts Supplement: Let your life speak

after what seems to be decades of thinking about what in HECK i should write about, i've come up with this. What do y'all think? Criticism and feedback is, as always, greatly appreciated, and i will definitely try to return the favor

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Asking my mom for something requires at least two hours of planning, two hours of practice, and up to a week of waiting for the opportune moment. Whether it is asking her if I can go to a party, or if I can sleepover at a friend's house, it is only with careful maneuvering and persuasive diplomacy that I can sway my conservative, Asian mother to comply with the western principles of freedom and independence that my friends enjoy.

I understand that it must be difficult for my mom to adjust to the idea of teenagers going out at night. In Korea, teenagers usually stay at home and study ravenously for college entrance exams. However, as I go to an international school in Singapore, I've been exposed to westernized ideals of a social life. And as tempting as it may be to yell at my mom, "Why can't you be more like my friends' moms," I recognize that she is only trying to look out for me, and she doesn't want me to get sidetracked from my first and foremost priority: education. Because of her sometimes-blatant rejections, I can never forget the fact that I am a person with a strong desire to succeed, to achieve, and to make my mama proud.

Though I like the ending touch, it may seem as though you are saying that your drive to succeed come from your mother's pressure and not something from within you. So instead of saying "make my mama proud", maybe you should show how you have actually internalized some of your mom's qualities and values. Or how as frustrating as it is to have a conservative mother, you realize that you picked up some valuable qualities from her. But show that you want to succeed for yourself, not due to the pressure of your mother. Otherwise the university may think that you are driven by your mother and not because of your own aspirations.

If you choose to make this change, then it might also look nice, because it shows how you are a fusion of the influences of your westernized society and peers as well as your mother and your Asian heritage.

So that's what I think. Consider that perspective of the reader.

Hello!

thanks so much for your feedback, i actually thought the exact same thing so i guess i will have to make a few tweaks here and there. or maybe a lot of tweaks. ahhh... anyway cheers. =)

Hey, Mirea,
I fully understand how tyrannical East-Asian mothers can be. In your essay, you describe such a family environment with a dominant character. However, the prompt "let life speak" is asking for how your life reflects who you are. Your focus is too much on your mother. "Asking my mom for something requires at least two hours of planning, two hours of practice, and up to a week of waiting for the opportune moment" is an interesting description of your mother but shows little that you are a person not afraid of authority.

My suggestion is that you can write about an incident that you once change your mother's mindset and she eventually understand and accept westernized thinking after you have tried hard to explain to her.

Ok, I revised the essay a lot and decided to focus on another aspect. What do you think?

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We were sitting in the back of my friend Sophie's car, when Sophie asked casually, "Mom, have you looked through my history essay yet?" I listened as her mom gave Sophie a few opinions and criticism about her essay and was suddenly overcome with a rush of jealousy.

I have never had the privilege of having my parents revise my schoolwork, as my dad is usually occupied with work, and my mom speaks little English. In fact, my parents and I hardly discuss what I study in school. Why? Having lived abroad for most of my life, and never having been formally educated in Korea, my Korean is rudimentary, which makes it difficult for me to explain to my parents what I am studying. But also, my parents never seemed to ask what I do in school. While this made me angry at first, I realized that it cultivated a strong sense of independence and initiative in me. My parents have placed their utmost trust in me to do well independently, and this trust gives the reassurance I need to believe in my intelligence and my reasoning.