I constantly break thro barriers of the Atlantic Ocean waves; CORNELL/ExtraCurricular

what you think of this, good??? I already turned it in but just want to know how I did..?

Pull right: breath, pull left: breath; I constantly break through the barriers of the Atlantic Ocean's waves as they attempt to impede my relentless progress. I swim till I can no longer feel the sand sift through my toes, till the tourist's laughter fades into whispers, and till the pain of discomfort consumes me. This is no battle for stress reduction or calendar sorting, rather a commitment to test the limits of my soul and to see what I am truly made of. My muscles constrict and my heart gorges with pressure as I fight the pain of retreat. When I reach my milestone, I stop and allow the waves to hastily carry me back to life, for it is calling me to defeat the so-called, "impossible." However, tomorrow is a tougher challenge, but it does not matter because my life does not have a finish line.

I actually enjoyed reading this essay. There was a flow that I admire and I was at least able to picture a slight image of the visual aspect of the essay. Well Done and Good Luck, I really hope for the best!

wow that was fast, lol! thank you...ANY ONE ELSE PLEASE...ANY CORRECTIONS THAT I MIGHT HAVE MESSED UP ON...IF I DID I am screwd!!!!!!

Agree :D
You have chosesn a right activity, explained your passion for it and why it is important to you, presented it in the right tone and most importantly has presented it to look genuine ;)

What's more? This is ready for submission and don't have any more bumps :D