Hi, everyone. I have just written this essay for CMU's supplement, but I can find no one to give advices. So here I am looking for suggestions. Please don't hesitate to tear this essay apart and make changes to it. Thanks a million for your time and helps!
Prompt:Please submit a One-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s) or program(s).
This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us t know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program to which you are applying.
Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.
Instead of college guides or Internet, it is Professor Randy Pausch's "Last Lecture" that first brought the name "Carnegie Mellon University" to me. While listening to his lecture, I was laughing at his jokes, weeping because of his optimistic attitude towards life, as well as thinking about my own childhood dreams. At that moment, I strongly realized, CMU is my dream
Never content with an "easy answer", I never settled with any statements until all the proofs and analysis has been presented. A typical "daydreamer", I spend hours coming up with crazy ideas and searching for their possibilities. Yet growing up in a traditional Chinese family, I am expected to be quiet, hardworking, and follow the words of seniorities without asking "why", thus I have always been scolded for my countless whims and questions. As a university that offers innovative classes that a student will never find elsewhere and a university that gives students full support with their research and investigation, CMU is the kind of place that I have always been dreaming for. CMU is the place where I can hold onto my curiosity and creativeness, the place where I have the freedom to let my thoughts go wild and even let them come true, the place where I can pursue the truths, without any impedance.
Born and raised in a town suffering from severe industrial pollution, I strongly feel the responsibility of restoring the beauty of my hometown. Nanshan, the coastal community in which I live for 18 years, does not deserve to be stained by the black rain resulting from pollutants mixing with raindrops. Its diligent residents ought not to live under the fear of cancer, either. I firmly believe in a balance between development and sustainability, I wish to contribute my power in dealing with the contamination in my hometown, and chemistry, I believe, is the best approach for me to achieve such goal. CMU has one of the best chemistry majors in the country, and it offers students great research opportunities, close interactions with some of the best professors in the field, advanced laboratory facilities, as well as a flexible curriculum. I am eagerly looking forward to enroll in CMU, being in the Green Chemistry class and conducting a research on environmental-friendly energies, as I believe that CMU is the best place for me not just to advance my knowledge, but also to find the solution that can save my hometown from contaminations.
Besides its remarkable academic reputation, the strong cohesion in CMU's school community also attracts me. In his speech, Professor Randy Pausch mentioned that students and faculties of all departments, and even the headmaster came to his exhibition day, even though he was just a new faculty member back in that time. This warm welcome did not only move professor Pausch, but also touched me as his audience. Being an international student who pursue education thousands of miles away from home, a sense of belonging will definitely help me to adapt to my school life and let me to study with full passion and focus; and CMU, a university with such strong community spirit, can always make me feel like home, a sweet home that I would never want to leave.
Although I may not have been fascinated by CMU for the entire 18 years of my life, as some of my contemporaries might be, my love of this university is no doubt, one of the strongest. I regarded CMU not only as a place of academic fulfillment, but also a considerate and warm family that I dream to join in and contribute to.
Prompt:Please submit a One-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s) or program(s).
This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us t know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program to which you are applying.
Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.
Instead of college guides or Internet, it is Professor Randy Pausch's "Last Lecture" that first brought the name "Carnegie Mellon University" to me. While listening to his lecture, I was laughing at his jokes, weeping because of his optimistic attitude towards life, as well as thinking about my own childhood dreams. At that moment, I strongly realized, CMU is my dream
Never content with an "easy answer", I never settled with any statements until all the proofs and analysis has been presented. A typical "daydreamer", I spend hours coming up with crazy ideas and searching for their possibilities. Yet growing up in a traditional Chinese family, I am expected to be quiet, hardworking, and follow the words of seniorities without asking "why", thus I have always been scolded for my countless whims and questions. As a university that offers innovative classes that a student will never find elsewhere and a university that gives students full support with their research and investigation, CMU is the kind of place that I have always been dreaming for. CMU is the place where I can hold onto my curiosity and creativeness, the place where I have the freedom to let my thoughts go wild and even let them come true, the place where I can pursue the truths, without any impedance.
Born and raised in a town suffering from severe industrial pollution, I strongly feel the responsibility of restoring the beauty of my hometown. Nanshan, the coastal community in which I live for 18 years, does not deserve to be stained by the black rain resulting from pollutants mixing with raindrops. Its diligent residents ought not to live under the fear of cancer, either. I firmly believe in a balance between development and sustainability, I wish to contribute my power in dealing with the contamination in my hometown, and chemistry, I believe, is the best approach for me to achieve such goal. CMU has one of the best chemistry majors in the country, and it offers students great research opportunities, close interactions with some of the best professors in the field, advanced laboratory facilities, as well as a flexible curriculum. I am eagerly looking forward to enroll in CMU, being in the Green Chemistry class and conducting a research on environmental-friendly energies, as I believe that CMU is the best place for me not just to advance my knowledge, but also to find the solution that can save my hometown from contaminations.
Besides its remarkable academic reputation, the strong cohesion in CMU's school community also attracts me. In his speech, Professor Randy Pausch mentioned that students and faculties of all departments, and even the headmaster came to his exhibition day, even though he was just a new faculty member back in that time. This warm welcome did not only move professor Pausch, but also touched me as his audience. Being an international student who pursue education thousands of miles away from home, a sense of belonging will definitely help me to adapt to my school life and let me to study with full passion and focus; and CMU, a university with such strong community spirit, can always make me feel like home, a sweet home that I would never want to leave.
Although I may not have been fascinated by CMU for the entire 18 years of my life, as some of my contemporaries might be, my love of this university is no doubt, one of the strongest. I regarded CMU not only as a place of academic fulfillment, but also a considerate and warm family that I dream to join in and contribute to.
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