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What can you contribute to SPP? "Helping others"



enou9044 1 / -  
May 31, 2010   #1
title: what can you contribute to SPP?

I look at my life as one of participant in reality show "Amazing race." South Korea, Japan, Philippines, South Africa, United States of America - these are the countries that I have lived in. I have experienced five different cultures and learned seven different languages from Korean to African tribe language. I have been fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to travel the world. I can create friendly relationship between international students and American student.

When an International student is struggling with American culture, I can help an international student to understand better about American culture. I have experienced American culture more than 3 years.

I will bring three major characters of me to SPP. The three characteristic that describe me the best are optimistic, passionate and mature. All three of those characters can give a great contribution to SPP and build a productive relationship with students and teachers in SPP.

I personally think I am an optimistic person. One of my favorite commercial quote is "Impossible is nothing" from Adidas. You can look at this quote from two different sides of viewpoint. If you have negative attitude, you probably believe "Impossible is anything." However, I believe "Anything is possible." I want to bring students in SPP optimism. Optimism gives people reasons to look forward to the future with a sense of hope. I encourage people to look at things positively. When people are struggling, I cheer them up with a positive attitude and remind them to look at the good part of life. optimism will prevent the negative thoughts to get into your head.

People around me say that I am a passionate person. One of my greatest passions is helping others. Because I wanted to make different in my community, I started regularly to volunteer near by my community. I have been volunteering more than 250 hours. It shows how much I passionate about volunteering. I care about my community and the others. I will contribute to SPP with my passionate heart by caring for student.

I found that I am a mature individual. Living without my parents, I became independent. Some of the challenge in my life helped me to develop my maturity such illegal immigrant issue. I am not afraid to fail. Learning from mistakes is great strength of me. A maturity plays an important role in my life. I have a focused mind all time. I will help people out when they need me. With my maturity level, I will deliver positive knowledge and make a good influence to students at SPP.

Not only these characteristics I have, I also have creativity, enthusiastic, honest, confident, and humorous. Each of these characteristics can be developed. I am confident that I will fit in SPP. With all the qualities I have, I am looking forward to contribute to SPP.

plzzz... help me!!

I know this essay is not great.

Vakax 2 / 41  
Jun 1, 2010   #2
This essay felt toooo COMMERCIAL in its construction. You picked Amazing Race and then instead of drawing parallels between the show and your life, you jumped on the next popular wagon - Adidas!

Your paragraphs aren't coherent at all. You jump from passion to independence and then in the conclusion you write..creativity, enthusiastic, honest, confident, and humorous. I'm sorry but your essay fails to highlight any of these characteristics.Also, your optimism paragraph doesn't meld in with the overall construction.

Heres what you should do. I think the amazing race is a very good concept to build your essay on. Pick four characteristics from the show, for example:Hardship, Group-work, Leadership and challenges and then give each paragraph depth by comparing and contrasting between yourself and the show.

One thing more: Try to connect your paragraphs to a conclusion where it clearly hits the reader how you are right for a degree in PUBLIC POLICY (or whatever it is that you want to pursue at SPP!)

Best of Luck.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jun 1, 2010   #3
Capitalize both words:
"Amazing Race"

I can create friendly relationships between international students and American students .

This is an impressive thread!! Thanks, everyone, for making it great.

Here is another idea:
I want to bring optimism to share with students in SPP, because optimism gives people ...

I like this part!!!----> ...reasons to look forward to the future with a sense of hope. --- nice job!!


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