Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 2


A convert to Mormonism interested in autism research at Caltech? That's me. (undergrad app essays)



StudyAndFaith 1 / 1  
Jun 14, 2017   #1
In an increasingly global and interdependent society, there is a need for diversity in thought, background, and experience in science, technology, engineering and mathematics. How do you see yourself contributing to the diversity of Caltech's community? (200 words max)

my journey in faith



At 15, I became the sole Mormon in my family.
Before then, I was the outspoken agnostic atheist in a family of loose non-denominational Easter-and-Christmas Christians. It just made sense: truth is determined through empirical evidence. Surely if any god or scripture had enough of that, we'd know by now, I figured.

But when the missionaries came over and preached their words of light and love for mankind, I felt something new. A powerful feeling of warmth and certainty filled me. THAT was the evidence!

Now that I've been baptized, I clearly distinguish between truths of the world and truths beyond. The former, I know through empirical data; the latter, personal revelation. My favorite scripture says to "seek learning, even by study and also by faith," acknowledging that these are indeed separate.

But my journey in faith has helped me immensely in my earthly pursuits as well. I tear up every time my peers and teachers at school tell me I've become such a pleasure to know, so smiley and helpful. I know it's because of my Church. At Caltech, as anywhere, I will continue to serve and share smiles.

My thoughts: I felt great writing this from the heart, but I feel like I might have skimped on opportunities to share specifics about what I've done in the Church, and the ending feels weak. It's really grazing the edge of the word count, though, so I'll need to cut some. Suggestions about what to cut/add?

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15370  
Jun 15, 2017   #2
Lucia, I can sense how proud you are of your faith and your desire to spread it as a college student at Caltech. Unfortunately, that is not the right approach to take in responding to this essay. The prompt provides you with specific fields of discussion which doesn't include religion. Therefore, you should not make your response a religious discussion specially since you are applying to a non-denominational university. The religious take could work against your application owing to the heated religious debate ongoing on various campuses. Focus your response instead on how you can academically and socially contribute to the development of Caltech. I'm sure that you can still help propagate your religion when you get into Caltech without having to make it the discussion point of your essay, nor it making it so obvious to those around you. As with all explosive topics for discussion, don't make it so obvious that you support something which might trigger other people and ruin your chances of getting in. After all, you are going to the university to grow academically in order to prepare for a profession so leave the religious discussion for a more appropriate place and time.


Home / Undergraduate / A convert to Mormonism interested in autism research at Caltech? That's me. (undergrad app essays)
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳