This is an essay for a college application and I'm obviously trying to sound as organized as possible.My main goal, however, is to give the reader a genuine perception of what I've gone through and have overcome. Any advice is accepted. Thanks in advance!
Lacking the presence of my mother - what Ignited My Pursuit of Success and (Genuine) Happiness?
I recently posted a draft of this essay and revised it. I made the theme more narrow, focusing more so on living without a parent than on the much broader "divorce".
Here is the prompt:
Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
Essay:
A blistering mallet increases its velocity and with it, its trepidation. The pounding continues and, similar to the darting vibrations of a gong, within moments my emotional makeup receives a wave of agitation and confusion. The migraine has startled the very temple of a young Jesus Luis-Mejia as I consider, without the shadow of a logical answer, why it is that I have been forced to grow up without the presence of my mother. As I questioned why I lacked the right to receive the much needed nutrients of life that one acquires from each parent, I considered my emotions and ambivalently came to the conclusion that I had to manipulate these variables in the pursuit of legitimate happiness. Despite the troubles that come with being raised without a mother, I look back and appreciate this experience as it has entirely shaped my perspective and work ethic. When trying to give a college an accurate perception of me, presenting my triumphs while evading this life-shaping experience would simply be involuntarily parsimonious.
In 2006, my parents had to settle for a divorce. Emotionally attached to both parents, it was difficult for me to comprehend why I was forced to lack the presence of my mother, especially because she raised me (virtually unassisted) for the first six years of my life. However, this doubtlessly unfortunate experience has molded me into the independent, success-seeking student-athlete that I am today. Not being able to have her around has taught me to be independent because frankly, one lives with the certainty that nobody else will be permanently present except God and oneself. The lack of the presence of both parents has shaped me and given me the gift of autonomy. With this prize, I have accomplished academic milestones, athletic ascendancy and have even learned to master five musical instruments without the need of anyone motivating nor assisting me.
As my life progressed, not only was I more exposed to the lamentable effects of being raised without a mother, but I was additionally met with constructive notions that shined in the midst of a foggy childhood. Among these truths was the fact that I was the only person responsible for my success and happiness. After internalizing this, I learned to appreciate the deck that life threw at me and manipulate the cards in a pursuit of (genuine) happiness. I was driven to work harder and more passionately as I understood that when it came down to it, only my work ethic would be responsible for my productivity. Today, in anything that I do I put in passion and excitement as my experiences have revealed to me that my work ethic alone can make up for any contributions that I lacked. I learned to use the emotional pains of living without a mother as a stepping block that put me in a position to reach success, happiness, and an extremely diverse perspective and identity along the stretch.
One of the most life-shaping virtues that lacking a maternal presence gifted me with is the asset of taking nothing for granted. Albert Einstein once said "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." When you are the center of a divorce, lack the presence of a mother and hence go through things that many children don't experience, you realize how precious every second, every opportunity, every privilege is. This experience has equipped with the virtue of taking advantage of every opportunity and hence applying all of my heart to my efforts.
Attempting to give a college an accurate perception of me without mentioning my living without a mother would definitely not be suffice. This experience is central to my identity and has shaped me completely. Not only has it taught me to be independent and to work for what I want, but it showed me that I had to take advantage of every opportunity I had. Whether it be polishing my athletic abilities, rehearsing musical instruments for hours, or hitting the books, I am self-reliant and realize that only my work ethic can determine my success. Hence, I pour all my heart unto my actions and take nothing for granted realizing that every second is a gift. These virtues have come as a result of lacking the presence of my mother and are still engraved in my character today. Undoubtedly, I will retain these truths throughout college and continue to independently work hard for what I want in the pursuit of success!
Lacking the presence of my mother - what Ignited My Pursuit of Success and (Genuine) Happiness?
I recently posted a draft of this essay and revised it. I made the theme more narrow, focusing more so on living without a parent than on the much broader "divorce".
Here is the prompt:
Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
Essay:
A blistering mallet increases its velocity and with it, its trepidation. The pounding continues and, similar to the darting vibrations of a gong, within moments my emotional makeup receives a wave of agitation and confusion. The migraine has startled the very temple of a young Jesus Luis-Mejia as I consider, without the shadow of a logical answer, why it is that I have been forced to grow up without the presence of my mother. As I questioned why I lacked the right to receive the much needed nutrients of life that one acquires from each parent, I considered my emotions and ambivalently came to the conclusion that I had to manipulate these variables in the pursuit of legitimate happiness. Despite the troubles that come with being raised without a mother, I look back and appreciate this experience as it has entirely shaped my perspective and work ethic. When trying to give a college an accurate perception of me, presenting my triumphs while evading this life-shaping experience would simply be involuntarily parsimonious.
In 2006, my parents had to settle for a divorce. Emotionally attached to both parents, it was difficult for me to comprehend why I was forced to lack the presence of my mother, especially because she raised me (virtually unassisted) for the first six years of my life. However, this doubtlessly unfortunate experience has molded me into the independent, success-seeking student-athlete that I am today. Not being able to have her around has taught me to be independent because frankly, one lives with the certainty that nobody else will be permanently present except God and oneself. The lack of the presence of both parents has shaped me and given me the gift of autonomy. With this prize, I have accomplished academic milestones, athletic ascendancy and have even learned to master five musical instruments without the need of anyone motivating nor assisting me.
As my life progressed, not only was I more exposed to the lamentable effects of being raised without a mother, but I was additionally met with constructive notions that shined in the midst of a foggy childhood. Among these truths was the fact that I was the only person responsible for my success and happiness. After internalizing this, I learned to appreciate the deck that life threw at me and manipulate the cards in a pursuit of (genuine) happiness. I was driven to work harder and more passionately as I understood that when it came down to it, only my work ethic would be responsible for my productivity. Today, in anything that I do I put in passion and excitement as my experiences have revealed to me that my work ethic alone can make up for any contributions that I lacked. I learned to use the emotional pains of living without a mother as a stepping block that put me in a position to reach success, happiness, and an extremely diverse perspective and identity along the stretch.
One of the most life-shaping virtues that lacking a maternal presence gifted me with is the asset of taking nothing for granted. Albert Einstein once said "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." When you are the center of a divorce, lack the presence of a mother and hence go through things that many children don't experience, you realize how precious every second, every opportunity, every privilege is. This experience has equipped with the virtue of taking advantage of every opportunity and hence applying all of my heart to my efforts.
Attempting to give a college an accurate perception of me without mentioning my living without a mother would definitely not be suffice. This experience is central to my identity and has shaped me completely. Not only has it taught me to be independent and to work for what I want, but it showed me that I had to take advantage of every opportunity I had. Whether it be polishing my athletic abilities, rehearsing musical instruments for hours, or hitting the books, I am self-reliant and realize that only my work ethic can determine my success. Hence, I pour all my heart unto my actions and take nothing for granted realizing that every second is a gift. These virtues have come as a result of lacking the presence of my mother and are still engraved in my character today. Undoubtedly, I will retain these truths throughout college and continue to independently work hard for what I want in the pursuit of success!