daith3gr8 1 / 1 Dec 6, 2009 #1Diversity has been a huge factor in my search for the perfect college, which led me to apply to Rutgers University. With _____ programs such as, ______, that are specifically geared toward promoting diversity amongst students, RU seems like the perfect place for me. I was raised in the small town of ______, New Jersey, where everyone is exactly the same. I want to break free of the cookie cutter world I've lived in all my life and experience an array of different types of personalities and cultures. I am extremely interested in learning about different types of people in hopes that it will make me a better, more well rounded person. I am also eager to share my personal experiences with others___________ (idk what else to write!)
keilinger 9 / 53 Dec 6, 2009 #2It sounds good so far, but I think you need to dig deeper about what attracts you about Rutgers. Perhaps include include an anecdote to explain why diversity is important to you, or elaborate on what you think is impressive about the programs they offer. Also, "well-rounded" could be written as "more connected with the world around me" or something more interesting to read.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129 Dec 8, 2009 #4Should cookie cutter have a hyphen?...break free of the cookie-cutter world in which my life has ______ and experience...I am not sure... When you use it as an adjective, it is nice to use a hyphen.
