Cornell - "Finding Nemo among the Stars" (Molecular Biology and Genetics, Astronomy)

Here's my Cornell supplement response. Let me know what you guys have to say about it. :)
(max. limit of 500)

Prompt:
College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

Could I find a fish among the stars? My teachers would think I'm delirious if I ask them this question.
My mother bought me my first encyclopedia when I was nine, called The Deep Blue World. It was enchanting. From what they ate to where they lived to how they looked; the encyclopedia taught me so much about fishes and ignited my passion for biology.

As I was growing up, my interest for the marine world started becoming more profound. Watching Animal Planet and Discovery taught me a lot. However, my fascination was not just limited to the marine world anymore. I moved beyond the water; started to find become interested in the land, the mountains and the plains. My mind probed father still. From the synchronized movements of schools of fish in the Pacific and the study of the life cycle of cicadas to the newfound knowledge about the cell structure and cellular biology, my interest in biology evolved. Before I knew it, no other subject filled me with as much ardor as Biology did.

However, this wasn't the only realm that thrilled me. I had also found a place to thrive among the stars. Watching the night sky from the rustic backdrop of my father's village, I was spellbound to see the twinkling and ethereal cluster of pearl-like dots in the deep blue sky. In the stars were the stories of the Milky Way galaxy. The Andromeda Galaxy, the Orion and the Pegasus constellations; of the Big Bang, the Panspermia hypothesis and the Drake Equation; each drove my intellectual curiosity as much as the little molecules of ATP, which power the cellular mechanism.

Eventually, the sky met the ocean and my interests merged; which I probably owe credit to the innumerable sci-fi movies I watched during summers.
Could there be life on other planets? If the answer is yes then, could creatures of other planets have a completely non-carbon based chemistry? Learning about sulfur based bacteria thriving near underwater thermal vents discovered recently by scientists, skyrocketed my mind to a new plane. These are a few questions that pose challenges to my mind but they cannot be solved due to my incomplete education.

Cornell would be the perfect platform to realize my passions and cultivate them while answering the questions of my mind. Cornell's departments of Molecular Biology and Genetics, and Astronomy are two portals through which I can satiate my desire to know more. At Cornell, I wish to combine the two fields to the furthest extent of my capabilities.

There is nothing better than an education that teaches you to think on your feet, inspire creativity and demand deeper understanding. With a Liberal Arts essence to my learning, I am sure that I will be ready for any future endeavor after the College of Arts and Sciences.

At Cornell I will get closer to finding Nemo among the stars; or an insect or a bacterium, whatever it may be, and continue to dream of meeting an E.T.

Thanks! Please do leave a comment. :)

Does it answer the prompt well? Is it interesting?

Hi Sidharth, I always enjoy your stuff...

Could I find a fish among the stars? --- If our planet is among them, all the fish are among them. :-) Great intro.

My teachers would think I was delirious if I asked them this question.---See how I changed the tense.

My mother bought me my first encyclopedia when I was nine, called The Deep Blue World. ----If it was called that, it was not an ordinary encyclopedia. It was some kind of marine bio encyclopedia.

Do not say fishes
... taught me so much about fish and ignited my passion for biology.

Watching Animal Planet and Discovery taught me a lot. ---This sentence could be more interesting if you change or add a word to it.

Eventually, the sky met the ocean in my mind, and my interests merged; I probably owe credit for this to the innumerable sci-fi movies I ...

Excellent! Now... at the end you are very general about Cornell, as if you have not been planning for your education... you should mention the professors, the classes, and so forth. Show that you have spend countless hours planning your time at Cornell. :-)

Hi EF Kevin! Thank You so much!

Have you read my other essays as well ? :-)

I know I should have described my interest for Cornell a little more by going into the specifics.... maybe I just kinda concentrated on the "evolution of my interests" part... :/

Do you think there are other areas I should have improved on?
Otherwise was it interesting to read as a whole?

Thanks again! :)

Yes, it is definitely interesting. You seem to have a strong insight about how to write in an interesting way. And now the next thing is to instill an emotion in the reader. That is why I say it is good to try to show, at the end, that you are doing a lot of planning and research. And yes, I have seen some of your other writing as well as the great help you give people. In this essay, particularly, your first line really catches the attention -- as does your username!

:-)

Thank you EF Kevin. I will definitely remember this when writing essays in future.

Oh you have read my other essays? That's nice. Could you read and tell me what you think about my Amherst College essay response if possible? :-)

I tried to make the first line arrest the reader's attention.
Haha.... my username. Lady Gaga fan... :)

Do you mean the poem? I like it a lot, and I only hope the AO reader is someone who can appreciate poetry. I sort of agree with what Susan said... being unconventional is sometimes not so good when potentially being judged by a conventional thinker. But also, I think the whole process of applying to college is sort of fake... they will accept you or not based on their own agendas. You should just keep being creative and unconventional, and it won't matter who accepts you and who does not. Do one great thing after another, and share your great, artistic spirit. If they don't like your poem, they suck. We like it!

Yes I meant the poem... Thank you for reading it. :)
I totally understand EF Susan's concern with my approach. But it doesn't harm to be creative or unconventional does it? I do not know if the AO reader would appreciate my approach, but I know for sure that there is no other way I would want to write it. :)

Thank you, I will keep writing with the same spirit. You're words mean a lot to me. A lot. =)

Have you read my UChicago essay? What do you think of that? :) Please let me know if anything... I would be glad to analyze it from another angle and perspective.

Well, excellent. I think you probably have the same policy I have: go with your intuition. I looked at intuitionism on wikipedia, and I think that is the philosophy that resonates most with me. Actually, no matter which philosophy you use to make decisions, you are fundamentally using intuition (i.e. you use intuition to identify the system of philosophy that seems best).

So, use your intuition. And if you are stuck between following your inspiration and following convention... well, you know.

You are totally right here EF_Kevin. I completely relied on my intuition and my creativity. I tried approaching the essay(s) in different ways, but it was way harder when I strayed away from the source of my inspiration.

Thank you I will keep this in my mind always whenever I write. :-)