Corrupt government officials & Power crazy politicians; Columbia Application

For applicants to Columbia College, please tell us what from your current and past experiences (either academic or personal) attracts you specifically to the field or fields of study that you noted in the Application Data section.

so this is what I have. suggestions?

As I went about giving my SATs not too long ago, I would never have though political science to be the major I list as first preference on my application. The very thought of studying politics or foreign affairs repulsed me. My mindset was tainted by what I saw around me- corrupt government officials and power crazed politicians. Fast forward to the present day and I have myself enrolled for multiple Model United Nations conferences, reading page after page on issues ranging from nuclear power in the Middle-East to the human trafficking industry in East Asia.

MUN, a concept that I happened to stumble upon not too long ago, invoked in me a passion for international relations. The field intrigued me. As I read more, I began making connections. Suspicion surrounding Iran's nuclear program led to rising tension in the Middle-East, which in turn impacted trade with the rest of the world. I now had a whole new perspective on the fields of politics and international relations. I see international relations today as a large complex web, a web connecting every being on the planet. The web is constantly evolving, changing form with every action, every idea. As more connections are made, a thorough understanding of the dynamics of this web gets even more critical to our progress and for that matter, our survival.

Definitely get rid of your first paragraph.

repulse, tainted, corrupt, crazed....way too much negative connotation.

Doesn't serve its purpose.

Not the best way to start it off, kind convoluted.


make sure you use a dash. Also, maybe add another thing? a list of two seems a bit weak. You can get rid of this part if you want to, as the last person suggested but it gives a nice background and a bit of contrast.

Maybe instead of so much "i read" plhrase it in some other way. You use a lot of cliched language, "fast forward" "invoked a passion"


since you're talking about a web, use another word more connected to web. being built on? expanded? changed? evolving is okay but you can make it sound nice and more connected with the right choice of words

thanks for the feedback guys. i'll work on it some more. i think i'm going to keep the first paragraph but reword it since its coming off too negative. reymiii could you suggest a start? i'm struggling a little.

What are your AP or IB options? Perhaps start by saying that you never took any politic related subject? I think the negativity you had about the politician is good, because it shows the admission officers what you think. Perhaps say how you were ignorant about the politicians later?

Hope this helps

i like the idea of starting with how i never took any politics related subjects. in fact, until a few months ago, i was planning on applying for engineering and had science subjects. thanks for the suggestion