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'a country with a positive society' - Just a start- FSU essay


nhstudent 1 / -  
Sep 26, 2011   #1
This is just a start to my essay, and i still have more to write.

Florida State University is more than just a world-class academic institution preparing you for a future career. We are a caring community of well-rounded individuals who embrace leadership, learning, service, and global awareness. With this in mind, which of these characteristics appeal most to you, and why

The characteristic of leadership appeals to me in a way that aids the world, and builds character. Leadership holds an impetus for positive change in the world and it is a way to directly help others, whether a company or community. The act of leadership greatly affects global awareness, while incorporating service to others. I was recently introduced to the Armenian Children's Milk Fund, a non-profit organization assisting under privileged Armenian children. The fund included a documentary solely based on poverty stricken individuals. I come from the same generation of Armenians as they do. Through the course of the video, I began to encounter a feeling of what I could do to help. The feeling I encountered represented the beginning stages of leadership. Leadership entails qualities that lead to hope, positive change, and structure.

Leadership used to be a confusing characteristic to me. I viewed leadership as being the President of the United States, or running a Fortune 500 company. I realized after the video that leadership is more than being the President. A simple action such as organizing a group to bring milk to Armenia builds character and leadership. Bringing milk to a poverty-fulfilled country allows the children to gain hope that their country is moving in a positive direction.

I have grown up in a country with a positive society, that of which third world countries strive to obtain. The society contains leadership of all aspects, big and small. The documentary that I watched lacked individuals that bring leadership to a country. The majority of the video, consisted of children cupping their hands; an action that is rarely seen in America. If leadership is brought to Armenia, pressing issues could be seen in a brighter light. This light represents positive changes.

criticism or any help is greatly appreciated!

Editor1010 9 / 33  
Sep 26, 2011   #2
I realized after the video that leadership is more than being the President I feel as though you should change that sentence because it seems a little weird that right after that video that you'd realize that, maybe say something else led you to believe that.

A simple action such as organizing a group to bring milk to Armenia builds character and leadership. Bringing milk to a poverty-fulfilled country allows the children to gain hope that their country is moving in a positive direction. Explain why bringing milk will allow children to gain hope, what is special about milk? Why not bringing food?

I have grown up in a country with a positive society, that of which third world countries strive to obtain. The society contains leadership of all aspects, big and small. The documentary that I watched lacked individuals that bring leadership to a country. The majority of the video, consisted of children cupping their hands; an action that is rarely seen in America. If leadership is brought to Armenia, pressing issues could be seen in a brighter light. This light represents positive changes.

I really do not understand if you picked leadership as your essay, you didn't really explain what leadership skills you had, you merely just talked about what leadership was. I believe the University wants to know what YOUR leadership skills are.


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