The creative minds - BARNARD COLLEGE SUPPLEMENT

D. Community - educational, geographic, religious, political, ethnic, or other - can define an individual's experience and influence her journey. How has your community, as you identify it, shaped your perspective? (250 word limit) make shorter

I have lived all my life in a small town. I used to think and I guess like most people my age felt that my town was the saddest boring place to exist. One thing I can say is that what helped me survive if I can say so was living next to bordering Mexican city. If I wanted to get some real authentic tacos I had the luxury to be living near a city that has just that. Living next to a bordering city I got to see different t parts of life that I was not accustomed to. Still Yes although I lived next to a large city I still was too young to drive and even if I could walk to cross the border my parents would not allow me to go all the time. Living near a large city was great, but what do you do when you are stuck in your life sucking dull of at town. No! I wanted nothing to do with my hometown we had no nice stores, only one restaurant, and a small movie theatre that didn't even screen movies I considered adequate and interesting. So what does one do? Well I did what one has to do to escape certain grim aspects of not being totally enamored with your hometown. I slowly but soon enough started to develop my own unique tastes. When I mean unique taste what i am trying to articulate is becoming interested in things because you actually like them. What happens when living in a big city is that by having so many subcultures it can become a bit weary and difficult to actually not be heavily influenced by others and actually still know what you actually like. Now don't get me wrong living in the city is great, a place like New York is where I have always wanted to live in. But the point is if I would not have grown up in a small Town most likely I would be overwhelmed by the heavy influence a city with so many subcultures can have/ has. Now I clearly see that I would not have wanted to grow up anywhere else. Living in a small town has led me to isolation but that has led me to creativeness. Living in small town has let me create my own voice without having others voices hovering over me. Just think about that guy Lou Reed he came from a small town in New Jersey. So having not much to do he became interested in books and music which led him to create some of the most inspiring and beautiful music. From isolation come the most creative minds.

Cut this sentence from "When I mean unique taste what i am trying to articulate is becoming interested in things because you actually like them" to "By that I mean...." The next sentence is somewhat long and maybe you can cut it down. I liked the idea in the last few sentences but they sound a bit shaky. Maybe you can try merging one or two or reword them so the flow is better.

wow this reeeeaaally needs some work. Your sentences are all over the place, hardly making sense.

I used to think ?????? what and I guess like most people my age felt that my town was the saddest boring place to exist.

One thing I can say is that what helped me survive if I can say sowhat is this...awkward, too informal, no sense was living next to borderingyou can't say living next to and bordering... that's the same thing!! Mexican city.

I could keep going on but I really don't want to tear your essay apart. I think you can take a look at it again because it seems like you wrote it in 5 minutes. I would never admit this student.