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Cross country: dedication, teamwork, and leadership - common app short answer



John9879 2 / 3  
Sep 12, 2011   #1
"I began cross-country my sophomore year to get into shape for lacrosse. As an inexperienced runner, I looked up to the seniors for leadership. Our senior captain led our cheer before our first race and at that moment I made it my goal to be in his position senior year. Two cross-country seasons, two track seasons, and over 4000 running miles later I happened to be in his same shoes. In the middle of our team of over 80 kids, I began to yell the cheer and our team chanted so loud that all 550 athletes at the starting line stopped and listened. Once the gun went off, we placed 5 athletes in the top 12 in the meet and took down the sixth ranked team in the nation. The dedication, teamwork, and leadership I have achieved from cross-country is something I believe no other activity can provide."

This is just the rough draft. I think it is a little too vague but I might be wrong because it is suppose to be really short and only 150 words. Also, another concern I have is I never said what happened to me playing lacrosse. I quit it to pursue track but I don't like using the word quit in my essay. Any suggestions and help would be great thanks!

zxing 3 / 8  
Sep 13, 2011   #2
It is a decent short essay. I am assuming you're using it to further explain one of your extracurriculars. I would just add something like "I could feel the unity in the air" before the start of the second to last sentence.


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