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UC --Cross Country Mayhem and Major Drama Biology



sushiwrap 3 / 15  
Nov 24, 2012   #1
I haven't really seen any Additional Comments examples online or from my peers so I just decided to wing it.
I have heard that Additional Comments can be anything from bullet points to a full-on essay; I just decided to focus on two topics and make paragraphs out of them. I would like to know what you all think of them and feedback, as always, is very much appreciated.

Prompt: If you wish, you may use this space to tell us anything else you want us to know about you that you have not had the opportunity to describe elsewhere in the application.

--During the fall semester of my tenth grade year, I joined the Cross Country team at my high school and, through perseverance, I made it onto Varsity. Cross Country was one of the most invigorating yet challenging experiences of my life, testing both my physical and my mental ability on the tough courses. I ended the season on a good note and went on to join the swim team, finishing that season successfully as well. After swim, I was eager to begin conditioning for Cross Country for my eleventh grade year. While training normally one day, I felt intense pain in my shins. I stopped, stretched a bit, and was pleased to find that the pain quickly went away, so I continued on. Unfortunately, the pain did not end there; it escalated dramatically in a few short weeks of training and by the time the Cross Country season officially started, I could barely walk. I spoke to my coach about my problem and he deemed it best that I take a rest from running for a season based on the severity of my case of shin splints. Instead of doing Cross Country, then, I joined the tennis team to occupy my time while my shins healed and to expand my horizons in the sports world. But my heart stayed with Cross Country. After having another successful year on the swim team during my junior year, I decided to follow my heart and condition for Cross Country one more time. To my dismay, my shin splints came back to haunt me again, this time even worse than before. I was frustrated and angry that I once again could not participate in a sport that I loved but, like they say, when one door closes, God opens another. By leaving Cross Country behind, I was able to focus upon my challenging course load and upon various extracurricular activities. This lifestyle change is proving to be very beneficial to my academic success and to my overall happiness.

--Throughout my high school career, my intended college major has oscillated from art to molecular biology to everything in between. I have found that although I have had success in a multitude of subjects, I have never had a supreme passion for a single one. My spectrum of interest is very broad and I hope to use college and the diversity of classes offered there to steer me in the right direction. Thus far, I seem to have found a niche within science, particularly biology, and within educating. Before I make any decisions regarding my major, however, I would like to further explore my options.

peanut1789 1 / 3  
Nov 25, 2012   #2
I would remove God in the first paragraph and just leave it with when one door closes, another one opens.
but other than that they are fine!
mikiibee 2 / 7  
Nov 27, 2012   #3
I agree with peanut, I hear religion and politics are a little iffy to add into your essay. I would say to leave God out of it just to be safe. Other than that, it sounds great. I especially like your last paragraph. I could not agree more, I've been the same with my majors. Can't decide what I want to do. One day I want to be a pastry chef, then the next I want to be a psychiatrist. It's hard to choose when we're still so young, I feel.. I like how you worded your incisiveness? Not sure what the word is, maybe not indecisive rapidly changing? Oh well. Great essay as I said before!


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