Cybersecurity - University of Waterloo AIF Reasons for choosing program and Waterloo (CS and CFM)

*Question 1:

Reasons for choosing your program and Waterloo

(*Required)
Please tell us about your educational goals, your interest in your chosen program(s), and your reasons for applying to the University of Waterloo. If you have applied to more than one program, please discuss your interest in each program. (900 characters limit)

An unpleasant experience of unauthorized credit card charges has sparked my interest in cybersecurity, and I wish myself as someone who will not only witness cybersecurity threats but also make my contributions towards tackling it. Thus, in the future I would like to work in the cyber security field, either developing software for cryptography or innovating fraud prevention strategies as a fraud analyst. That would require both financial analysis skills and programming skills. I believe the initiatives offered at UW in CS and CFM would best prepare me for my career goals. For one, the unique capability in cybersecurity field owned by members of CrySP and a range of senior CS courses regarding computer security such as CS 458 could master skills I need. In addition, I can apply my skills and gain valuable job experience through various positions offered by co-op. I also look forward to joining the URA program, especially working with Professor Urs Hengartner to do more in-depth research and applications about cyber-security.

Ying, you are not being asked for your personal reasons for choosing the course so you should remove that information. It is not relevant to your academic goals nor the reason that you chose to seek admission to the University of Waterloo. That is a topic that would work better as the foundation of your personal statement or motivational letter. It doesn't suit the required information for this statement essay. I think I should be clear at this point and tell you that the essay works from a partial point A to a partial point b. What I mean is, you can use the following sentences to fully respond to the prompt:

in the future I would like to work in the cyber security field... I also look forward to joining the URA program

I omitted the mention of the professor because that does not have any bearing on your academic interest. Unless the professor will be a referee, there is no sense in mentioning that name specifically when you can learn from other professors as well. In addition to that, if the professor does not hire student aides for any reason, the mention of the professor's name will be worthless in this essay. Say something else that could be taken as notable about the URA instead.

The parts that I indicated in italics above will be more than sufficient as a response to the statement. You don't need to write a total of 900 characters if your response does not require or suit it. The most basic and bare bones response statements are usually the ones that tend to be remembered better by the reviewer. In this case, the bare bones tactic just might help your essay become noticeable.