"daddy issues" complex form - My dad influences me in a way that he sickens me to my stomach

Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

There are some things in life that make you wish you had the power to change it, but upon reflection, it is the most aggravating obstacles that become the most integral portions. I suffer from a complex form of "daddy issues". My dad influences me in a way that he sickens me to my stomach, but I also could not imagine life without him. I love my dad, but I do not respect him, and his actions have scarred my family.

My father was not around for much of my childhood. I always remembered he was working for money, but this money typically didn't go to my family, it was to feed his gambling addiction. More often than not, my dad would come home extremely late at night, the smell of alcohol in his breath and the sound of frustration in his voice as he cursed at his bad luck, and yet he continued the same behavior year after year.

My dad's constant thirst to throw away money yielded nothing but adverse effects that he seemed oblivious to. Besides expending thousands of dollars for absolutely no gain, he hurt those around him. The constant loss of money meant that we could no longer afford to live in our house and we were forced to relocate to an impoverished neighborhood where I was afraid just to play in the front yard. We lived paycheck to paycheck and there was always an argument about money and our desperate lack of it. Yet my dad constantly found himself allured by the small chance that he would hit the jackpot and finally have it all pay off, 17 years later and we're still waiting for that jackpot.

My position is not one I asked for and it is one that I constantly wish that I could change, but it has also been one of my largest sources of motivation. Over the years I have had to mature rapidly, more so, I believe, than many of my peers. I have had to learn to weigh the benefits and drawbacks of my actions and the way I spend money, for every positive there is a negative. The reverse rings true as well. My confinement to poverty has also proven to be liberating. I am grateful for every opportunity that comes my way that puts me along the path to success, I am not so concerned about my physical belongings or appearance as much as others, and I have proven that even when I might feel like the world is trying to do everything in its power to limit my progress, nothing will shackle me to a future of uncertainty and failure. Obstacles will not deter me, the future will not intimidate me, and my past will not haunt me. I am who I am today, with all my faults and my passions, because of the circumstances that were parted onto me.

My dad's actions have shown me exactly what I do not want to be. I want to be loving, generous, and helpful. It has also forced me to reflect on the fact that as hard as my life has been, numerous other families suffer the same, if not worse, situation that I carry. That is why it is my life goal to succeed financially, academically, and mentally. I want to prove to whatever forces that may oppose me that I am not restrained by circumstance and more than that, I want to inspire a new generation of underprivileged youth that we are not bound by the circumstances life hands us, but only by our willpower to overcome those hurdles. My childhood was not ideally filled with familial love and happiness, but the memory of my father and his negligence will forever motivate me to be better man than he was and to succeed in spite of whatever was thrown my way.

Charlie, the essay you wrote is too wordy. As a common app essay, you should make sure to be as short and concise as possible when presenting your story. The essay you presented was more about your dad than anything else. It was all about him instead of the essay being all about you. So you need to fix that situation. Let me offer my take on your story and how it can be better presented.

Most children grow up knowing a loving and caring father who would be willing to do anything for his family. A loving father would never hold back on financial support for his children and wife, he would put their needs above his own selfish whims, and he would be the role model for his children to follow. Sadly, I did not grow up with such a father. Instead, I had the gambling, alcohol chugging, could care less if his family died from hunger type of father. He was definitely no role model for me. My dad calls himself a dreamer, looking for his jackpot. I don't think he will find it though since he has been looking for it for the past seventeen years to no avail.

It was because of him that I learned to grow up fast. I had to be responsible for helping my family at an early age because the lack of financial support meant that we more than struggled for day to day living. Somehow, we managed to survive in spite of my father's existence and negative effect on our family.Despite the hard life that we still continue to have and the fact that my father is not a role model of any sort, I still feel that I owe him a debt of gratitude. I know, you think I am crazy but there is a really good reason behind that.

Since my father forced us to support ourselves and disregard any help from him in our lives, my siblings and I grew up to be strong and resilient people. We never let any kind of obstacle or hardship stand in our way. I in particular, became highly resourceful and managed to find a way to stay in school, even though there were days when there was no money to support it.

I am living proof that when a person knows how to use adversity to his or her advantage, the time will come when the forces of the universe will converge to offer you a chance to get out of the rut that you call your life. I have always taken every opportunity that comes my way leading me out of the gutter that my family currently dwells in because of my father. I hope that by completing my college education, I will be able to finally pull the rest of my family away from the negative and destructive force we have come to call "Father".

This spin on your father's story makes the essay all about you instead of him. Remember, you are the one applying to college so all the essays you write should showcase only you and your struggles. Everyone else is a mere mention on this road towards to success. So use their presence in your life to your advantage with every chance that you get :-)