May you please read through this and give me some ways to improve this essay? Also, may you really help me make this more concise? I am above the limit of 500 words.
Promt Instructions: Describe a significant moment, achievement or dilemma you have faced and its impact on your spiritual, personal or ethical development.
May 14th, 2011 was a day to remember. It was a cloudy day accompanied by heavy rain and thunder. I was scheduled to compete in a state track meet that day. My event started at around 1:30 so I believed the rain might stop by the time I arrived to the stadium.
I arrived to the stadium at around 11:30. It was still raining but not very hard. The meet would go on as planned and the rain had no effect on the progression of events. Honestly, even with the rain, I still wanted to run though. I competed in the meet last year with the same weather conditions and had no problems.
My coach approached me at the front gate. He told me that my event would start in about 2 hours. I could then watch other athletes compete until it was time for my event. I like watching other athletes compete. It makes me jubilant because I get to see others pushing themselves to do their best. Also, since most of my friends from other schools run, I can cheer from the sidelines.
Competition brings out the best in me sometimes, but not on this day. This day was the state meet so I had no pressure. This was the last meet of the season so whatever happened on this day was nothing to worry about. My coaches would not reprimand me the next day because I didn't score the last few points to win the meet or run a relay to solidify my chances of winning. The state meet is just a day to have fun and enjoy yourself as you compete in the last meet of the season.
I watched some of the other track athletes compete and was amazed by the talent around me. There were lots of surprise victories and well-rounded athletes that made the meet exciting. I got so caught up in watching other athletes, however, that I forgot it was almost time to run! It was around 12:30 so I had to get changed, warm up, and check in for my event, the 800 meter run. The 800 meter run is a 2 lap run around the track. It is my favorite event to run because, like the one mile run, it is a test to see how long you can hold your form while still maintaining a strong speed. I arrived at the check in tent and was then immediately brought to the starting line of the race. There were 8 lanes at the starting line (each for 2 athletes). I shared lane 8 with an extremely tall kid who looked around my age. He wished me good luck and I did back. At that time, my parents were in my view. They were smiling and also wished me good luck.
The man with the starting gun signaled for the race to start. He talked in the mega horn and shouted "On your Mark!" He then lifted up his hand with the starting gun in it and yelled "Get Set!" My mind went blank. He then fired the gun. The race had started. The kid next to me sped out as fast as he could. He was in the lead from where I saw him until I could not see him anymore. I was in around 3rd to last place.
I wasn't thinking too much during the race. There was no need to. Thinking would only make me focus too hard on something unnecessary. I was just running. I finished the first lap in around 3rd to last place and started speeding up. I noticed that some of the other athletes were slowing down and I still had lots of energy to speed up so I did. One by one, the athletes dropped places since the first lap. Kids that were in 2nd were now in 4th and so on. I was in 5th by 600 meters. In the last 200 meters, I sped up. The athletes running were still slowing down. In the last 100 meters, I was in 4th place. Pain started to hit me at this point.
I still had a little bit of energy left in me so I figured that I could still push through it to finish the race. At the 100 meter mark I ran as fast as I could. Not caring what the end result was, I just wanted to finish as fast as I could. One by one I passed the last 3 athletes and surged the last 50 meters to win the 800. My coach immediately ran over to me and gave me a hug as I crossed the finish line. I was both emotionless and thoughtless.
This was nothing to be extremely happy of or something to be extremely sad over. It was just a race. I finished it and did my best to. I did, however, learn something that helped me significantly. I learned that I work best when I am thoughtless. I am a very cautious and nervous person and it reflects in the way I work, speak and behave. However, I am confident when I don't think too hard on something and when I don't get nervous. I learn that I work best when I just have fun and enjoy whatever I am doing.
I arrived at the stadium at around 11:30.
Honestly, even with the rain, I still wanted to run. though.
I had competed in the meet last year with the same weather conditions and had no problems.
I still had a little bit of energy left in me, so I figured that I could still push through it to finish the race.
This was nothing to be extremely happy about or something to be extremely sad over.
It was just a race. I finished it and did my best too .
However, I am confident that when I don't think too hard about something, and when I don't get nervous.
I learned that I work best when I just have fun and enjoy whatever I am doing.
:)
