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I am different, risk-taker, seeker. Boston U Supp- 3 words that describe you.



AIRanimechiic 2 / 22  
Dec 28, 2009   #1
In an essay of no more than 500 words, please select 3 words that describe you best and tell us how you will use these qualities/characteristics to contribute fully to the BU community.

On the first day of kindergarten, I knew there was something that separated me from the rest of my classmates: I spoke no English. In fifth grade, I had a seizure in front of everyone in the class; the gap between my classmates and I expanded. In high school, I was the only student in my home room that came from a private middle school.

These differences, and more, separated me from everyone else. I was strange, different, an oddball. In elementary/middle school, I was the outsider. Back then, I was ashamed of these differences. I wanted to fit in with everyone, desperate to be the same as everyone else so they would accept me. I frequently tried to pretend to be someone else. However, it didn't make me feel right. Like Susan "Stargirl" Caraway from Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli, I strive for individuality, for uniqueness; to be someone that's not the same. Rather than hiding my differences, I show it off, wear it proudly. I wear long skirts instead of skinny jeans, I bike instead of take the bus, and I bring homemade lunches instead of eating in the cafeteria. I no longer fear being the only one standing up in a sea of sitting people.

I get a guilty kick in the stomach when people are afraid of doing something outside the norm. Because of my past experiences, one of the things I vow never to do is exclude others. The first thing I did during a break in high school was sitting down in front of a solo someone and began introducing myself. The first thing I did during a public session at my skating school was begin talking to a lonely stranger in my class. The first thing I accomplished with the Japanese Animation Club when I was the new president was bring them with me to a convention. I now tend to do that a lot- take a necessary risk when the urge calls for it.

I used to hide a lot. In elementary school, I hid in the bathroom during lunch. I blamed many things for the epilepsy I was diagnosed with. Whenever I was faced with difficult things, I attempted to make something else the scapegoat. Like the game of hide-and-seek, I kept running and hiding, hoping never to be found. In the completely different environment of high school, however, I had no chance to do that. There were too many opportunities to not skip out on, so many clubs to join, so many new activities that were possible to grab. I did that- taking any advanced class I could get accepted into [?]

I am different. I am risk-taker. I am a seeker. Those things are what I feel are a necessity for students who want to make a change, who want to take a stab in the right direction.

but then... i sort of altered my NYU essay to read this: (does it sound better for the BU prompt?)
"Names have power."- YƱko Ichihara (xxxHolic)
Loveless is an anime (Japanese animation) originally written and drawn by Yun Kouga. While by no means it's my favorite, the thing it's most notable for, however, is its use of names. Three the names in that series happen to be names I can feel a connection towards.

Loveless: The owner of this name happens to be the troubled 12-year-old protagonist, Ritsuka Aoyagi. He's troubled because of the supposed death of his older brother. I'm troubled, in a sense, like that, too. When I was in elementary and middle school, I lacked acceptance and, well, "love" from my classmates; I had no support, no friends my age outside my family back then. Thus, when I entered high school, I took the best shot I could get to turn my life completely around. The first thing I did during a break period in high school was something I would never have done before- I just sat down in front of someone who was alone and began to introduce myself. I don't relate to this name because I'm "unloved", but because now I make sure no one is lacking in that.

Fearless: This is the battle name for Mimuro and Mei, the possibly strongest team after Zero and Beloved. Basically, it means they are not afraid when fighting, like me. I get a guilty kick in the stomach when people are afraid of doing something outside the norm. Because of my past experiences, one of the things I vow never to do is exclude others. The first thing I did during a break in high school was sitting down in front of a solo someone and began introducing myself. The first thing I did during a public session at my skating school was begin talking to a lonely stranger in my class. The first thing I accomplished with the Japanese Animation Club when I was the new president was bring them with me to a convention. I don't cower in a corner anymore.

Limitless: Most fans of Loveless create their own battle names for fun. I chose "Limitless", not because I'm not immortal, but because I believe that the things I enjoy have no end, no boundaries. I have three published poems, and continually accumulating novels, short stories, and scripts sitting in two shelves of my bookcase. The list of new creative works is ever-growing today. Someone once said, "Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon." To me, there is no end to the infinite list of opportunities and possibilities in my imagination.

Loveless. Fearless. Limitless. While those just happen to be names in the series, Loveless, they are also qualities that I relate to, that I can give to others.

which one is better? im kind of leaning towards the altered NYU essay now...

medelman2010 11 / 26  
Dec 28, 2009   #2
Hey,

I like your take on the question (much more creative than mine!)...I think it just needs to be fleshed out a bit.

A couple of suggestions:

1. Make your 3 words slightly more clear during the essay- it is not until the end when they are written out that I fully understood what your words were

2. How will you use these qualities to contribute to BU? Make sure you answer the second half of the question

3. I'm a little confused about the paragraph that starts "The first thing..." I dont quite understand what you are saying. I think you need a sentence or two in the beginning of that paragraph to introduce the rest.

4. In the last paragraph, like you said you need to do more fleshing out. The first step I think would be to talk about the flip side...you used to hide, now what do you do? How have you turned this into a positive?

Great start! I would love if you could take a look at my BU essay when you get a chance.

Thanks!
sohee1992 1 / 5  
Dec 29, 2009   #3
awesome essay
im loving it:)
its really interesting and it makes me want to read MOREE!!!!!!!
good luck!
btw im doing one on that tooo
:)
autogunny 3 / 69  
Jan 1, 2010   #4
I like the first one, the second one doesn't show YOU. You need to show who you are beyond what's on the paper. Is that the only question you had?

Can you critique my essay also..its also for BU: essayforum.com/undergraduate-admission-essays-2/bu-words-prompt-please-critique-pin-polemical-inquisitive-13641/
OP AIRanimechiic 2 / 22  
Jan 2, 2010   #5
actually. i submitted the first one for the main common app essay (topic of my choice) and since BU is going to get both the common app essay and BU's essay, it'll be strange for it to get the same essay twice right? so how should i fix the second one?


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