Hi guys! This is my Colgate's supp essay and i know that i have already written more words than its requirement. However, i really want to know whether or not its content and cohesion are right. So please revise my essay
Please reflect, in a short written response of 250 words or less, to the following prompts below.At Colgate, we believe that a diverse community is a strong community. Reflect on an experience that demonstrates your commitment to inclusion and diversity.*
One sunny day, the peculiar kid knocked the class's door and asked whether he came in. All students wanted to know who he was, then the teacher introduced him that he transferred in my class. Actually, my class was quite hard to get into because we were the mathе-egos and i was quite surprised that he would manage this class with ease. After a few months, I noticed that he always wanted to be nice with anyone even some of them trying to tease him. I honestly somehow felt loneliness from him even though he was always smiling to everyone. After one year, i found out that he was orphan and lived in fosterling where was far away from my school. More and more I talked with him, i felt that i wanted to help him. One day i asked about his misery, he just wanted to ignore me, and that moment i felt that he never confident with share his emotions and true feeling with others because he might afraid of judgements. I tried to be nice with him because i know that how loneliness feels like and how it is hard to go along with, but i did not know how to deal with it. I remember this quote whenever i saw him " No one could possibly understand the depths of you". Yes! I would never fully understand him, but at least i can try it. One day, he came to me and started to talk about his life to me how it feels like being in this world alone and how he work hard in every single thing, but mostly he failed because he had never financial background or someone who supports and loves him from their bottom of heart. However, i felt ashamed of myself being so arbitrary to my family. Ever since that time, we both knew that we can trust with each other and today we are still best friends. All in all, I would honestly say that he has changed my life forever. It has been always great pleasure to having a such person who always understand me and i deeply understand that if i really want to understand someone, i do not have to be smart or experience same situation, but more importantly, i have to have true desire to understand him or her.
commitment to inclusion and diversity
Please reflect, in a short written response of 250 words or less, to the following prompts below.At Colgate, we believe that a diverse community is a strong community. Reflect on an experience that demonstrates your commitment to inclusion and diversity.*
One sunny day, the peculiar kid knocked the class's door and asked whether he came in. All students wanted to know who he was, then the teacher introduced him that he transferred in my class. Actually, my class was quite hard to get into because we were the mathе-egos and i was quite surprised that he would manage this class with ease. After a few months, I noticed that he always wanted to be nice with anyone even some of them trying to tease him. I honestly somehow felt loneliness from him even though he was always smiling to everyone. After one year, i found out that he was orphan and lived in fosterling where was far away from my school. More and more I talked with him, i felt that i wanted to help him. One day i asked about his misery, he just wanted to ignore me, and that moment i felt that he never confident with share his emotions and true feeling with others because he might afraid of judgements. I tried to be nice with him because i know that how loneliness feels like and how it is hard to go along with, but i did not know how to deal with it. I remember this quote whenever i saw him " No one could possibly understand the depths of you". Yes! I would never fully understand him, but at least i can try it. One day, he came to me and started to talk about his life to me how it feels like being in this world alone and how he work hard in every single thing, but mostly he failed because he had never financial background or someone who supports and loves him from their bottom of heart. However, i felt ashamed of myself being so arbitrary to my family. Ever since that time, we both knew that we can trust with each other and today we are still best friends. All in all, I would honestly say that he has changed my life forever. It has been always great pleasure to having a such person who always understand me and i deeply understand that if i really want to understand someone, i do not have to be smart or experience same situation, but more importantly, i have to have true desire to understand him or her.
