'not only in distance but also in relationship' - Stanford roommate letter

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better

Hello, my future roommate,
It's unfortunate that I haven't known your name yet, but we all know that I will, soon.
My name is Hung. I come from Vietnam- a nice Asian country at the other side of the Earth. Since we are going to be "closest" buddies for 4 years, I hope that we can be in harmony with each other. Therefore, I feel I should let you know what you are getting by living with me.

Honestly I think I know to be a good roommate- my family used to be very poor and for 15 years I used to share a room with my grandfather. Also, my friends always comment me as friendly, truthful and helpful. I think you definitely won't be disappointed.

I hope you don't discriminate yellow, irreligious, or short people.
I like tidiness. However I know that it's hard for two of us men to maintain the room neatly, so just don't make everything a mess and it's fine.

If you want to borrow my stuff, take it. You can tell me before or after that. But try not to throw things away. You may call me a meanie, but please understand that stuffs are expensive especially for someone Vietnamese goes shopping in the US like me. I don't want to burden my family more.

I might sing all day, as I love singing. Though I'm confident at my voice, I'm sorry in case you find this irritating.

I might get very stressed and bad-tempered sometimes.
I might speak Vietnamese and you won't understand.
I might cry when I miss my hometown.
If you feel anything unpleasant about me, talk to me. I really want us to be straight and open to each other- for us to live happily our four years, not "survive".

I wholeheartedly hope that we will become closest friends not only in distance but also in relationship.
Looking forward to spending our time together soon.
Sincerely,
Hung

I'm new...any comments, compliments and criticism are all wholeheartedly welcomed. Thanks in advance!

This essay sure does show a lot about you--but some of it is a little bit too generic, for instance, I like singing, or sometimes I get short tempered. This applies to millions and millions of people, and you want to make yourself stand out against a pool of applicants and selective review process.

Try to focus on maybe one or two outstanding qualities that you have instead of one-lined general statements!

Yeah, I agree with Capriciousprite here. The essay is a little bit too generic. You should be more specific. Perhaps with more examples or details to support your ideas instead of one general sentence? For instance, "I might speak Vietnamese and you won't understand." When would you speak Vietnamese and why? Because you really miss your homeland or does it is just naturally or randomly pop out of your mouth? And I don't think "you won't understand" is a good thing to put here, because it sounds a little bit rude to me. Or perhaps it's just me.

Anyway, try not to write too many aspects as they tend to split the readers' attention and confuse them. Perhaps focusing on one or two of your outstanding qualities would be better. Good luck with everything!