I have chosen the NYU New York Campus because it is located in one of the most diverse cities in the world; a place where a variety of cultures merge and create the unique atmosphere of New York City. With no barrier separating the city from the school, there is an infinite amount of knowledge that can be gained by walking around the city streets. NYU also has an extraordinary economics department where I will have the chance to learn about economic growth and development which will better prepare me to deal with the global economy. The diversity of New York can be beneficial when working within the global economy because I will be accustomed to dealing with people of different backgrounds.
Diverse city & culture/ unique atmosphere; NYU sup/ Why NYU?
Not a very good essay- read the comments if you would like harsh feedback.
I have chosen the NYU New York Campus because it is located in one of the most diverse cities in the world; a place where a variety of cultures merge and create the unique atmosphere of New York City
>>we know you chose NYU, and we don't need to know it's the NY campus. it's NYU, and if you wanted Abu Dhabi or something, they would know that outside your essay. Bland reasoning aside from that. NYU is unique, but only if you make it so. How will you do that? And don't tell me- tell them.
With no barrier separating the city from the school, there is an infinite amount of knowledge that can be gained by walking around the city streets.
>> this implies that you believe walking around will make you smarter. if you don't elaborate, you will sound very off.
NYU also has an extraordinary economics department where I will have the chance to learn about economic growth and development which will better prepare me to deal with the global economy.
>>you don't need to teach me or the admissions officer what econ is about. Bland reasoning...why is their department better than any other?
The diversity of New York can be beneficial when working within the global economy because I will be accustomed to dealing with people of different backgrounds.
>> Weak.
I have chosen the NYU New York Campus because it is located in one of the most diverse cities in the world; a place where a variety of cultures merge and create the unique atmosphere of New York City
>>we know you chose NYU, and we don't need to know it's the NY campus. it's NYU, and if you wanted Abu Dhabi or something, they would know that outside your essay. Bland reasoning aside from that. NYU is unique, but only if you make it so. How will you do that? And don't tell me- tell them.
With no barrier separating the city from the school, there is an infinite amount of knowledge that can be gained by walking around the city streets.
>> this implies that you believe walking around will make you smarter. if you don't elaborate, you will sound very off.
NYU also has an extraordinary economics department where I will have the chance to learn about economic growth and development which will better prepare me to deal with the global economy.
>>you don't need to teach me or the admissions officer what econ is about. Bland reasoning...why is their department better than any other?
The diversity of New York can be beneficial when working within the global economy because I will be accustomed to dealing with people of different backgrounds.
>> Weak.
The ending should be changed because right now it does not do a good job at closing your response. It needs to impact the reader!
